flumpty thanks for your support i hope all is okay in the end maybe after it all if the feelins are still there i will talk to her im not a bad person and dont wish to fall out with anyone speacially mil in the mean time i will do my best to ignore and forget im sorry to hear your loss i really am your not hi jacking the thread its for all to write on i just opened it and now i kind of wish i didnt as i have heard such sadness here one way or the other i hope everyones day goes well we are all missing someone in our life by the sound of it but they will all be with us in spirit luv l