Old photos = depressed

[Jen1]

We're having a massive clear out this weekend and I've come across some old photos. I've found loads of when I had first met Rob and was a skinny 21/22 year old. I was a size 8-10 and it has just made me look at myself and feel so, so depressed. I want to be like that again! I have been so down about my weight recently - looking in the mirror makes me feel sick I got to be that size as I lost my dad and went thru a bad split from my ex, and I definitely don't want to experience it again, but I just wish I could find the motivation from somewhere to diet and exercise. I'm putting 2 of the photos up in the kitchen to remind myself how I would like to look like. Why oh why did I let myself get like this?!

No need to answer, I just needed the rant!!

[Lady Rools]

Jen, don't be down love. When you are 21 your body works a different way, you have a different metabolism and it's easier to be thinner. Now you have a gorgeous girl, a grown ups life, and a hundred richer, more meaningful emotions, thoughts, intelligence, knowledge and understanding and connections and friendships. Does your weight really matter? When you have all this in your life that you didn't have when you were 21? You are womanly, with womanly curves, and you are such a beautiful wonderful person, did you have all of that when you were 21?

I think we are so hard on ourselves as women, and spend so much time worrying about our weight now, and I sometimes think I will get to 50 and look back and think, why on earth did I enjoy myself for what I am and was, a gorgeous womanly curvy girl with a whole life to lead.

Leaving the picture up will just make you feel bad each time you look at it, why don't you put up a picture of you Rob and Grace smiling and looking REALLY BLOODY HAPPY as a gorgeous family, which is what you are xxx

[May...]

Jen - I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

But listen - I was NEVER EVER a size 10 - not ever. I still look at photos of myself at 18/19/20 etc when I was first with hubby and think 'god i looked better then' - it is because of a few things :

a/ I am looking through rose tinted spectacles
b/ most of the photos were taken on special occasions / nights out when I was 'glammed up'
c/ I was younger !!
d/ I was getting a decent nights sleep once in a while and when I wasnt it was cause I was out drinking not up dealing with a toddler
e/ I had mroe time and money to spend on myself and clothes / make up etc etc

I know Ive never met you but Ive seen photos are you ARE NOT BIG. Seriously, you're not. I am. Please dont put yourself down - you are (from what I know of you) a lovely person who is always supportive of others and is going though a very rough time. Cut yourself some slack - re-read your post as if it was someone else - I'm sure you would never be so harsh on them as you are on yourself.

[Copperhead]

Originally Posted by Lady Rools

Jen, don't be down love. When you are 21 your body works a different way, you have a different metabolism and it's easier to be thinner. Now you have a gorgeous girl, a grown ups life, and a hundred richer, more meaningful emotions, thoughts, intelligence, knowledge and understanding and connections and friendships. Does your weight really matter? When you have all this in your life that you didn't have when you were 21? You are womanly, with womanly curves, and you are such a beautiful wonderful person, did you have all of that when you were 21?

I think we are so hard on ourselves as women, and spend so much time worrying about our weight now, and I sometimes think I will get to 50 and look back and think, why on earth did I enjoy myself for what I am and was, a gorgeous womanly curvy girl with a whole life to lead.

Leaving the picture up will just make you feel bad each time you look at it, why don't you put up a picture of you Rob and Grace smiling and looking REALLY BLOODY HAPPY as a gorgeous family, which is what you are xxx

[bron]

Hell I look at old pics and think oh you look haggard now. My wedding pics for example. I was 21 line free, grey hair free and a stone and a half lighter than I am now.
We have children, we have life. We may never look that good but I sure wouldn't want to go back

[Jen1]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I wouldn't want to go back either, I'm very lucky with what I have. However I have many reasons for 'needing' to lose weight. If I ever want to have a healthy pregnancy again then I will have to lose at least 2 stone, which is the weight I was when I fell pregnant with Grace. There's health issues as well, especially PCOS and illnesses connected to it. I suppose I was just happier, healthier and more confident when I was slimmer

[Ang]

What Rools said. Also the weight will come off but bear in mind you've had 4 pregnancies in just 3 years and so hormones will have gone to town on you weight wise.

I used to feel like you - size 8 dresses in the wardrobe didn't help matters but truth is when I was that small I was in a relationship that made me miserable and I didn't sit still for 5 minutes, running backwards and forwards to school all the time, running about with work, then when I was out it was dancing the night away to forget how miserable I was. I look back and think no wonder I was so bloody thin! Now I'm a lot bigger thanks to those wonderful hormones but so much happier in myself and the size 8,10,12 and 14 have all been packed away - well many have gone altogether It took a lot to accept I'll never be that small again but I tell you I feel so much better for doing so. I've gave myself a realistic aim of a size 16 and if I get there I get there. If I don't then so be it.

Have a word with your GP see if they can do anything to help weight loss - doesn't need to be medication just support and advice works really well and lastly like Rools says take the pictures down and get some happy family ones up. I promise you the thin photos will do what my thin dresses did and just rub it in and make you feel shite.

[May...]

Jen - I do understand - I am going to have to lose weight for my next pregnancy but much, much, much more than 2 stone unfortunately. I was overweight will L and will be, I would imagine with another, but they say that losing even 10% can make a huge difference.

[Jen1]

May, I have a lot more than 2 stone as well!!! It's just I know I can have a healthy pgy at that weight

Ang, I do think I need to be more realistic - I'll never be a size 10 again! My aim is to lose enough to have a healthy pgy and not put myself at risk of any health problems. My consultant says I need a bmi of arund 24 but there is no hope for that

[mistleuk]

It is hard jen, i have never ever been slim (except in dreams) all due to PCOS but i had lost some weight in the last few years which i think contributed to me getting pregnant with daniel, and since having daniel i've but loads on and its just so depressing, i am convinced i am as big as i have ever been, but mike says it is in my head. with regard to weight loss you have had it very hard but my consultant always told meme to aim for a BMI of 28, so if need to be 24 you really truly arn't that big.

sending you loads of and realy hope you feel better soon
PS just wondering has anyone spoken to you about metformin, i was put on it after clomid failed, it is a diabetic drug but it helps people with pcos, i put my weight loss down to it, i ended up on the maximum dose and used it with clomid in teh end, i was advised to keep taking it till i was 12 weeks pregnat as seems to help women with PCOS to avoid miscarriage,
sorry to ramble but could be worth asking about , i had to fight for it but it is standard practise in america

[Jen1]

I've heard so much about metformin but my doc has never recommended it to me. I think I might go back and see her and mention it. I do find it really difficult to lose weight, especially around my middle, so I think it will help. Thanks

[mistleuk]

Originally Posted by Jen1

I've heard so much about metformin but my doc has never recommended it to me. I think I might go back and see her and mention it. I do find it really difficult to lose weight, especially around my middle, so I think it will help. Thanks

I had to really push, and in the end i changed consultants which was a great help plus i was also under st marys manchester and both the consultants wanted me on it, i am convinced i have put so much weight on since haveing the baby because i am not on it now, but as we moved house i'd have to start the battle again, but it is well worth it, do the research and tell them what you want, remember they are there for us and ultimatly we pay there wages so don't be fobbed off
xx

[May...]

Ha to a BMI of 24 (or 28 for that matter) - god I feel HUGE now but have been sooooo depressed with it of late am trying not to let it get me down. I need to lose weight - it is the ONLY reason we are nto currently TTC / pregnant and feel like I am depriving L.

[mistleuk]

Originally Posted by May...

Ha to a BMI of 24 (or 28 for that matter) - god I feel HUGE now but have been sooooo depressed with it of late am trying not to let it get me down. I need to lose weight - it is the ONLY reason we are nto currently TTC / pregnant and feel like I am depriving L.

It is hard i know, i was hoping i'd fall pg quite quickly after D as i'd been told that was my best chance of having another without help , obviously this hasn't happened and now i really need to do something about my weight too, i am nowhere near a BMI of 28 now according to Wii fit its 32 , and now i'm getting worked up about how i am going to look when i go back to workin two weeks.
All you ladies with PCOS i know the best way for us to deal with all the issues around it is by following a Gi based eating plan, as that is what deals with the unerlying insulin issues so if anyone fancies haviving a go with me let me know.

[May...]

A BMI of 32 isnt ridiculous - dont worry!

I dont have PCOS but have a higher BMI than you. I will be losing weight before Xmas and then maybe start TTC again - it only took 4 months last time but I worry as Im older now and probably fatter too!!!

[KarenE]

I had the IVF with a BMI of 35... just!

[Jen1]

I tried the GI diet before and it wasn't too bad, though with everything else, it worked for about 2 weeks then I stopped losing weight. It was also very boring!! I'm trying WW again as I lost 2 stone on that when I was 21, though I'm older now and a mum so it may not work as well

[KM]

Hey Jen, you didnt let yourself get like anything.

To me, you're a beautiful healthy looking woman. I certainly dont see what you see, but I know its all about how you feel deep inside so I hope the steps you take help you feel somewhat happier about yourself. But honestly, you're a good looking girl. I dont know what these old photos look like, but as you already know you got that figure because you were going through an unhappy time in your life, and as so, I dont ever wish that figure back on you

I think alot of women are sad with what they look like now as opposed to 10 years ago, but I know for sure in another 10 years we'll be wishing we looked how we do now! Its the law of sod.

Be happy, big hugs xx

there's nothing wrong with gaining a few pounds... it is only because of society's standards. but really, if you are healthy and you feel good about yourself, then there's no need to worry.

yes, we all want to be as skinny as we were way back but sometimes, it is just not "possible." why don't you take it as "a sign of progress"? sort of a paradigm shift. after all, in life, what matters is that we are with the people we love most...and if they do truly love us, they will take us no matter what size we are in.

cheer up girl!
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