Q for Groovy Mummies of toddlers - Wedding Forum

Copperhead · #1 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 09:21 AM

How long would you be happy leaving a child Cal's age (or a little bit older) for if you and husband went on holiday?

Jill · #2 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 09:31 AM

Depends who I was leaving them with to be honest. I am leaving Alex with my hubby for 2 days, while I go away with work. If we were both going away...probably a weekend? I don't like leaving Alex though...and would try and take her with us, but we do both work full time, so don't see her as much as we'd like during the week. You do what feels right for you...don't let anyone make you feel guilty for going, or over protective if you don't!

Ang · #3 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 09:43 AM

I know I'm not supposed to answer this cos I haven't got a toddler but I will anyway. I personally wouldn't have gone without mine BUT that's easy for me to say because the option was never there. I was never in the situation where it was an option so can't say what I would have done. I can only say what I think I would have done which is not the same at all as actually having the choice if all that makes sense

Anyway what I was going to say before I went off on one of my rambles there was same as Jill. Do what's right for you. Regardless of what you do there'll always be someone that has something to say anyway. You take a small child abroad, someone thinks you're mad. You leave them behind someone thinks you're mean. Just do what's right for you Rach and to hell with what everyone else thinks.

Nicola B · #4 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 09:45 AM

I wouldn't leave mine for very long at all, but that is more because I wouldn't want anyone to have to look after 3 children! Mark and I spent one night in London when Nathaniel was 11 months old, but that is the only time both of us have left any of them at the same time. Having said that, we don't really get the opportunity!

Nicola

claireg · #5 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 10:00 AM

I agree with Jill and Ang do what you think is right Rach. As you know we have been away several times for varying lenghts of time without Adam, lots of people critisied us for it but we knew he was safe and happy.

bron · #6 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 10:29 AM

a weekend
but it does depend who its with

nessa · #7 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 12:48 PM

Hi Rach!

We have left Jake for a week on his own when we went to New York for a wedding, he was 18months then, yes it was hard but it wasn't the sort of place to take a toddler too.

We definitely would do it again, even if other people don't agree with us it doesn't mean to say we love him less cause we leave him behind, but that is who we feel & also we & Ian's parents (who look after him) enjoy the time that we/have.

It depends on who you both feel tho, but when we went it was nice to have some good quality time as a couple again

Nessa.

joules · #8 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ang

You take a small child abroad, someone thinks you're mad. You leave them behind someone thinks you're mean.

We've done both with Hannah

She survived both just fine, though. She was at home with her Grandma when we weren't able to take her the 2nd time, and we were gone for about a week. I think her being in her own house, own bed etc. helped her not even really notice we were gone

. She was already used to Grandma taking care of her while we were at work and putting her to bed on nights we'd been out late. If I'd had my choice, I'd have tried maybe a weekend away first. It depends so much on the child and how they are at the time.

I can honestly say it was 100% harder for me than it was for her, though.

Lady Rools · #9 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 04:09 PM

We went on hols for a week when Annabel was two to the Canaries (remember we didnt realise she needed a passport?) and my mum looked after her. We missed her but really needed the time together and didnt even realise it at the time. She had a great week with my mum and didn't realise we were away for a week even

Jacqui · #10 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nessa

Hi Rach!

We have left Jake for a week on his own when we went to New York for a wedding, he was 18months then, yes it was hard but it wasn't the sort of place to take a toddler too.

.

ON HIS OWN!?!?!?!? Gosh, did you leave him some pre made dinners in the freezer?

As for what I would do - 2 days max. But that's me all over and perhaps its down to me missing her as opposed to her missing me!

Copperhead · #11 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 04:22 PM

We were thinking of going somewhere further afield than Europe and i thought for a long weekend and he thought for 5-6 days plus.

I'm wary as Cal had a huge disruption during the summer and i am almost certain it was one of the causes of his fussy eating, we were doing fine up to that point.

We'd be leaving him with my mum whom he knows very very well.

Copperhead · #12 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Rools

We went on hols for a week when Annabel was two to the Canaries (remember we didnt realise she needed a passport?) and my mum looked after her.

yes, i do remember that

Mrs F · #13 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 04:35 PM

I never left Sean for more than a night until last year when he turned 6. We left him for 3 nights to go for a naughty weekend in the lake district. It was very much needed.

It wasnt that i wouldnt have left him with anyone, its just that Craigs mam didnt want him for more than a night as he was too much hard work for her.

Jen1 · #14 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 05:19 PM

We've left Grace once overnight with my mum - we don't get many offers! Though I would consider leaving her with a member of my family for a weekend. I don't think we could do more than that. I would quite like the opportunity but I doubt we would get it any time soon

Heather · #15 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 05:45 PM

Having only ever left Emma with my mum for one night (she was 3 months old) and Matt for one night when she was about 1, we're currently talking about leaving Emma with my mum for a few nights (no more than 3/4) when Matt's in Kosovo!

We've just spent a few days with my mum and for the first time in a long time Emma didn't scream upon seeing her Grandma!

I think I would feel more relaxed and be "definate" on this if we saw my mum more often but this was the first visit in 4 months............

I'm terrified already, but with Matt being away for 6 months, and currently having had NO proper nights out together since Emma was born we desperately need it!!

H

Copperhead · #16 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 06:03 PM

Well as N didn't get the job he went for today (with the lovely £4k allowance) the point is moot anyway

The places under discussion were Rome v New York

Jen1 · #17 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 06:04 PM

Rach, I'm sorry N didn't get the job

There's a better one out there for him

KarenE · #18 (**permalink**) 08-11-2007, 06:40 PM

for N and you Rach

J · #19 (**permalink**) 09-11-2007, 09:55 AM

sorry Rach

jesscakes · #20 (**permalink**) 09-11-2007, 02:34 PM

Well, if the opportunity ever comes up again, I would say go for it. I left Millie with Jamie for a week last year when I went to help my sis-in-law in California when my niece was due. It was fine, and we missed each other, but seeing her again was the best day!

Jamie and I have also left her several times for periods of 3 or 4 days with her grandparents and she has been totally fine. Again, staying in her own house, so all her things around her and they stuck to her routine so she was fine. Don't think she even noticed we were gone.

I very strongly believe that you need time as a couple and some nights away together every now and again, pref once a year, to just reconnect and leaving your child is not a bad thing to do. It helps promote confidence and independence and the bond with their carer. Obviously, this only works if you have someone you trust completely looking after them!

Jessx