The Rules of Being A Small Child
Things I have learned about how children think, gleaned over the last few weeks:
1. Passing a child once in the street is regarded as a friendship and therefore you are able to knock and call for the child you have passed (usually with "Are your children playing out?" if the name is not known; 'your children' is a perfectly adequate substitute for a name).
2. A broken Sonic Screwdriver, a stick and a Wendy House are all the ingredients needed to re-enact ANY episode of Doctor Who.
3. If an adult queries the reason why a small child is crying, claim ownership immediately: "He's my brother" negates the need for any further enquiry.
4. If an adult has given permission for you to refill your watergun from their garden tap once, this actually means any time you fancy it, regardless of whether or not that adult's children are actually playing out at the time.
5. Eat as much as you can; don't be afraid to appear greedy and who cares if they were someone else's sweets / lollies / biscuits? Cram 'em down! Ask for more!
6. It is perfectly acceptable to call for someone and then, ten minutes later when you see someone more to your liking, to leave them on the street and go off. Even if they are only three.
7. Fifteen year old boys LOVE playing with smaller children, obviously. Keep on harrassing them, they might give you a water bomb.
8. If at any point you are mean and are spotted by an adult, immediately become lovely. That'll fool 'em into thinking they never saw you being mean in the first place!
It's hard being four and three and the youngest in the gang from what I can see, but my kids just don't seem to notice!
N xxx
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Nikki and Nick married 14/12/02 - well, still true but let's hope for an end date too, shall we?
George Nicholas Smith born 23.9.03
Leo Philip Smith born 20.3.05
"Help!" said Eddy
"I'm scared already.
I want my bed
I want my teddy"
http://www.myspace.com/nikki_i_like_shoes
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Fantastic
William Robert born 21st Dec06
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