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Hi all
Well, I'm back from South Africa, Mark has since moved all his clothes out (except socks and pants - v. bizarre) while I was away.
I have had no contact from him, not even a did you get there safely text - considering I was travelling on 2 planes, one through the middle east and travelling for 24 hours so at least I know he doesn't care half a percent about me.
I am still devastated and taking things day by day, I still can't believe he doesn't want me but I am beginning to realise that I put in so much more to the relationship and marriage than him.
So many things are coming back like, never taking me out when he went out with mates (both male and female), leaving me stranded in central london having arrived from stansted when my flight was delayed, my dad had to pick me up as he couldn't be bothered, always keeping his own money tight (rich hubby poor wife), going out on an evening and not coming back until the next day knowing I was sick with worry (he did this about 4 times). never doing anything special or thoughtful for me when I did tons for him and generally making me feel like an inconvenience rather than his so-called beautiful wife
I am still finding it hard not to blame myself for his behaviour and think he will find someone who he will love more than me and respect and give his all that he didnt give me but I will try and keep going. I have a lot of friends and family around me who say he's a complete fool but it will take me a long time to agree
Thanks if you got this far
lots of love
single Sarah xx
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Taking life one day at a time xx
Well done Sarah, you've been so open and honest and I think that's a positive step in the whole grieving and healing process.
The rose-tinted spectacles are coming off and you can see things for what they are. It is not your fault that he was a selfish git, please stop blaming yourself.
You will get stronger every day and you will see that you have a beautiful and exciting future ahead of you as the mist lifts.
Take care x
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Laurie
xx
Married Al on Valentines Day 2006
Wyatt born 13th January 2007 & Baby #2 due 7th January 2009
I hope that my child, looking back on today
Will remember a mother who had time to play;
Because children grow up while you're not looking,
There are years ahead for cleaning and cooking.
So, quiet now cobwebs go to sleep.
I'm nursing my baby, and babies don't keep.
Sarah love try not to blame yourself for the way he behaved during your marriage. He sounds very similar to my ex who I always thought would meet someone and treat them with the respect he never gave me. I blamed myself, thought it must be something about me that made him treat me like he did. Now a few years down the line he's still single because the way he is is absolutely nothing at all to do with me. It's him and the way he thinks relationships should be that's wrong which is why he'll not find anyone long term. Meanwhile I'm happy with my Brian who has made me realise that it was never my fault. If a person doesn't put enough into a relationship it's because THEY don't want to and not because of the other person.
I know it's easy to blame yourself though. It's easy to say hang on, this man is supposed to love me but he can't spend time with me, take me out, etc therefore it's obviously something I'm doing wrong. I'm too ugly, too fat, too embarassing - it's ongoing the ideas and thoughts that come into your head and slowly bit by bit your confidence gets less and less. You probably didn't do anything other than try and make things work. Relationships are two way things and need to be worked on from both sides. When there's only one person working on it chances are it'll fail at some point. You deserve better than someone who doesn't want to put anything into it.
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.
Vodka - cheaper than botox and paralyses more muscles
As everyone else says, you are now being able to critically evaluate his behaviour from a distance - and you can how crap he was towards you. This was NOT your fault - just the way he is. You deserve an awful lot better - and you will find it.
Give yourself time to grieve, and heal.
Sarah and you will find someone who loves you just as much as you love them too. Dont be concentrating on your ex too much. It does nothing for your self confidence.
Now you've been to SA I really hope that you have come back with a self confidence that you didnt have before, with a love for life that you thought you had forgotten and with a new zest for life in general.
I wish you hapiness and you shall find it.
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I got muffins on the 30th September 2006
One day at a time is how you heal and each day you'll realise something new or you'll feel a little stronger. Hopefully in a weird way him moving out will help the grieving process. Stay strong and well and holler if you need anything or anyone xxxx
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'There are easier things in life than finding Mr. Right...... like nailing jelly to a tree for example'
Location: The heart of the Ribble Valley - the safest place to live in Lancashire!
Posts: 20,851
Really truly not your fault. You were the one who wanted to make this relationship work, he has chosen not to. He is the weaker one here. And never blame yourself for his faults. You'll get through this.
N xxx
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Nikki and Nick married 14/12/02
George Nicholas Smith born 23.9.03
Leo Philip Smith born 20.3.05
"Help!" said Eddy
"I'm scared already.
I want my bed
I want my teddy"
Update
your way 
Carys Grace was born 29th June 2007 5:01am weighing 7lbs 8oz 
Vodka - cheaper than botox and paralyses more muscles 
William Robert born 21st Dec06
James, arrived 03/10/05 
Teresa and Paul - 2nd October 2004 
It is true that we don't know what we have till we lose it, but its also true that we dont know what we have been missing till it arrives 
when I kiss you goodnight I will 
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