Sorry, the pain is getting worse - Wedding Forum

SarahG · #1 (**permalink**) 29-05-2006, 09:29 PM

Hi there
sorry for the title, I actually wanted to say somebody kill me please.
I am in so much pain right now, accepting my husband has left me he doesn't love me anymore, sorry, am having a really bad day, feel like I don't want to live anymore, the only thing that stops me doing anything silly is knowing the pain that I would put my family through, I am a worthless piece of sh*t, I couldn't keep my man after 10 years and now he's probably putting his hands on someone else at this moment in time and left me a worthless piece of junk, someone please give me something to take the pain, I don't want to be around anymore, I am worthless, unlovable, feel like my body is disgusting and I am not good enough for anyone, I deserve nothing as I must be a worthless piece of crap to not keep him, I love him SO much and he has rejected me as if I meant nothing, please help me, I have nowhere to turn at this moment in time and I want my life to be over, sorry, you guys are all wonderful, I just want to feel normal again and be worth something
xxx

Hels · #2 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 05:06 AM

Hi Sarah,
I can't bear to hear you like this. You are not worthless, or a piece of sh*t! I know you are going through a lot of pain right now, but it will get easier with time, I promise. Try not to think about what he would be doing right now, you are just torturing yourself with these thoughts unecessarily. He is the one that is losing out, because he is losing out on you and that is his loss. Don't let him get you in this state, he is not worth it!
Do you have any family/friends that you could spend the evenings with or go out with to take your mind off things? Please don't go throught this alone, you don't have to. There are others on Groovy who have been in the same position as you, and they have got through it and come out of the other side and found happiness again. You are at a low point right now, but it WILL get better - I hope you are felling better soon, and remember you are never on your own or alone as you have all of us on Groovy any time that you need to talk.
Helenxxx

KarenE · #3 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 05:11 AM

Sarah

Please stop being so negative about yourself - it takes two to stop working on a marriage. If you really are verging on harming yourself, get yourself down to your GP for help- perhaps counselling, perhaps medication, or a combination of both.

In the meantime, the Samaritans will always listen to you when you feel like this.

You WILL get through this - but you have to accept help from others to do so.

Copperhead · #4 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 05:15 AM

Oh sweetheart, you are worth loads. I can't stay online lots just now to write what i want to but stay strong and keep telling yourself you ARE strong enough to do this. It's his loss, not yours.

I think you should maybe go to speak to the Doctors. I know meds aren't always the answer but they really have given me the space to deal with some of the things i feel shit about (and it's not so long ago, i hoped it would all just end too) and i can react much more normally to things. It really does make it easier.

I mean this most sincerely, if you want someone to sound off too, please PM me, I'd hate to think you were sitting feeling isolated and lonely enough to feel like that. It's the shittest feeling in the world but you don't have to feel so alone, promise.

I would say more but best get off to rescue my boy from his cot where i abandoned him to have breakfast...

Kezzer · #5 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 05:41 AM

Oh sweetheart

I'm gutted to hear you're feeling low again.

Because your self esteem is at rock bottom and you feeling worthless it is so very important for you right now to lean on people who love & care about you. If you've struggled with this before it'll be difficult at first but you'll be amazed at how much it helps and you'll probably be surprised by peoples reactions.

Try & get an appointment to see your GP ASAP. Also have a look on-line http://www.relate.org.uk/ to find a counselor in your area. Even if you want to sit there & cry for an hour, you're paying for the pleasure & it's the norm.

Please do keep coming back in here & getting out your feelings, I know I sometimes feel like a stripper at a bible meeting but it is really important to have an outlet.

Lots of love

Kx

Taz · #6 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 06:32 AM

Sarah, i so know how you feel and i know how hard it is when he leaves you and you don't understand why.. i cried for weeks, i blamed myself and at many points wanted to die but i decided that i would not let him have the pleasure of knowing that he had hurt me that much. i cried in secret and never in front of him. It is hard i truly understand that. if you are up for it come out on saturday lunch with us girls. I agree with Kezzer get some counselling i was lucky that Ilona and mark were there for me and listenend to me for ages and gave me advice.. you will get through this i know it does not feel like it now but you will and like me find happiness again.
To be honest i feel a little weird today as it is -sorry would have been my wedding aniversary but it will ease.

You are stunning and a wonderful person don't EVER forget that. please do not do anything silly.

I am thinking of you flower please take care

Clare xxx

Mrs Mac · #7 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 07:10 AM

Im so sorry that you're having a hard time lately. From reading your last thread I can see that you put so much more effort into the relationship than he did. My ex treated me in the same way as yours did you. I was always second best and you cant live your life like that and you need to be a priority.

I can understand why you feel so low as my ex ruined my self worth in the same way as it appears yours did. I used to have days when I wanted him back. But I wrote down on a piece of paper all the bad things he'd done to hurt me and whenever I felt like I was missing him I would read them all again! I would also write letters to him and then burn them! I found this helped too as it got off my chest what I wanted to say.

I also wrote down lovely things about myself, all my good points. I wrote down all the times I'd tried extra hard to make the relationship work. To show myself that I wasnt worthless.

I also started going out with friends and I went out and bought a whole new wardrobe of lingerie items! That made me feel so much better! Plus it took my mind off what was happening.

Sarah you will get through this. Just give yourself time and be kind to yourself. I wish you every happiness in your future and there will be somebody who makes you feel special and a priority.

Ang · #8 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 08:00 AM

have PM'd you

Dawnie · #9 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 08:25 AM

Sarah, i'm so sorry you're feeling like this and I know that at this moment in time you feel like your whole world has collapsed.

I also think that in a years time you'll look back on this thread and think 'what a heap of crap I was writing' because you're not a worthless piece of poo. However, it's really good that you're getting it out of your system rather than harming yourself and you keep ranting girl.

Give us your good days, your bad days, your 'he's a complete bastard' days - the whole works and we will be here for you 110%.

As K said, it takes two to make a marriage work and he's not working at it so you hold your head high honey. You were in for the long haul and willing to work at it. It's easier to walk out and your man took the easy option...

When you're ready you will meet someone else, but in the meantime I really hope you'll come out Saturday. It would be lovely to see you again and I promise we'll cheer you up.

Mucho love

valentina · #10 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 12:13 PM

Sweetie, I'm so sorry you're so down. I don't know if there's anything I can say/do to make you feel better. So I will just send you a

and tell you that I'm thinking of you. If you ever want to talk PM me at any time.

J · #11 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 02:15 PM

What everyone else has said

KM · #12 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 04:52 PM

Sarah, its really sad to hear you speak this way but it is good that you are able to talk about it.

You are so wrong though Sarah, you are an amazing person and the fact that he took the easy option out is no reflection upon you.

I know this is by the by, but look at other peoples break ups, you'd never consider the person who has been left behind to be any of the things you have described yourself to be. Course you feel hurt, angry and upset but you must never never blame yourself.

I hope this terrible time soon passes for you Sarah, I really do.

Thinking of you, Karen xxx

beck · #13 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 05:00 PM

i cant even imagine the pain you must be going through right now but if you ever need to talk about anything im here for you. your doing a good thing by coming on here and telling us how your feeling, im sure lots of women on here will join in talking about how evil and how much of a waste of space some men can be. you are the strong one, you worked so hard to try and keep things together, its not your fault that he couldn't see how much of a wonderful person you are. he doesn't deserve someone as good as you.
sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but i couldn't read this without putting something. we care about you on here and we will be there for you whenever you need us.

Liz · #14 (**permalink**) 30-05-2006, 05:49 PM

I don't have anything valuable to say, except that as far as I'm concerned the Groovy girls (and J!) are intelligent, perceptive, wonderful people - not only am I including you in that, but I guess I'm also saying that if they think you're great I'm totally convinced you must be. Thinking of you xxx

Teresa · #15 (**permalink**) 31-05-2006, 03:45 AM

None of this is your fault Sarah. You are an amazing person so don't let anyone tell you any different. You must not blame yourself for what has happened. It takes 2 to make a marriage a work. He was the one who too the easy way out so hold your head high and dont' blame yourself for any of this.

I hope that you gradually feel better soon. You'll get through this, I promise and you know that we are all here for you if there is anything we can do.

Thinking of you.

xx

mistleuk · #16 (**permalink**) 31-05-2006, 04:44 AM

Sarah, firstly i agree with much that has been said above, and secondly i disagree wiith alot you said , to say you are worthless well its just not trueyou are one of the lovelist peopl i know not only are you warm funny and careing you are beutiful on the outside as well the inside, i know you are in pain right now and i am glad i not still down ther as i think i would have words with him bynow. You are woth so much more than he is and you tried to make it work, and it is he that does not deserve you,
You have my number please use it , i am always here for you i just don't get on here as much as i would like

Lady Rools · #17 (**permalink**) 31-05-2006, 05:56 AM

Thinking of you Sarah xx

claire · #18 (**permalink**) 31-05-2006, 03:37 PM

thinking of you hunny and wanted to send you my love and

please dont put yourself down and please please dont go doing anything stupid.

lv
claire
xx

Lady Rools · #19 (**permalink**) 31-05-2006, 04:37 PM

I was thinking about you earlier in the car Sarah and thought this, that in the future you have the power to be strong, deal with your self image issues, lose weight if you want to, and change the things that make you personally unhappy, whereas your (ex) husband will never be able to change the fact he threw something so beautiful as your relationship and marriage and YOU away.

That my dear makes you the stronger person. x

Dawnie · #20 (**permalink**) 01-06-2006, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Rools

I was thinking about you earlier in the car Sarah and thought this, that in the future you have the power to be strong, deal with your self image issues, lose weight if you want to, and change the things that make you personally unhappy, whereas your (ex) husband will never be able to change the fact he threw something so beautiful as your relationship and marriage and YOU away.

That my dear makes you the stronger person. x