In light of the many Groovers suffering and coming to terms with heartbreak, separation and even divorcer, here is my message of hope...

In 1996, at the tender age of 20, I married for the first time against all my better judgement. Less than 2 years later, I ended it as the marriage was over. I felt a complete failure and had no sense of personal identity. I ended up going on a bit of a bender, doing things a 'sane' me would not have done and taking risks that now appall me. Afterwards, when I calmed down again, I finally thought I knew who I was and what I wanted.

I then met someone new, and despite being totally incompatible we married in 2002. I thought I was happy, I really thought we could make it work but I could never get rid of the niggling doubts and fears. Things got worse and I continued to grow and develop as a person, becoming more and more independent as each day passed. After just 8 months, I ended it.

It was the hardest and most painful thing I have ever done, I could literally see him break before my eyes but I had to hold fast and stay strong as I knew it was for the best. I also knew that in time, he would see that too (he did and it didn't take long either). I bounced between feeling like a total bitch, to feeling terrified of the future, to panicking that I'd made the wrong decision, to feeling completely lost. You name it, I felt it. I have never ever been so low, never felt so lost, and never felt so scared.

Yet...

The decision to try and move on, despite the hurt and pain it caused to both myself and others, has proved to be the absolute best decision I have ever made in my entire life. Once the grieving was done and time had passed, I realised that I FINALLY knew who I was, both good points and bad, and I had learned to not only accept myself but also to love myself. I was content to be on my own and didn't need anyone else to make me happy.

There has been a lot of anguish in my life but I have coped with it and come out of it all a much stronger and more grounded person. Being truly able to understand myself has been a real eye opener and I have learned from my past mistakes and hope that I have become a better person for it.

Then, and only then, was I ready to meet my soulmate.

Here I am, just three and a half years later and my life is almost unrecognisable. I am blissfully happily married, living in a loving home (not just a house), caring for a fabulous pet and now with a baby on the way. On a happiness scale of 100, I'd register 200 at least.

So, where is the message?

No matter how bleak things looks, no matter how far you fall, you must always have hope for the future. When you're at your lowest, the only possible way is up. Live each day as it comes and look forward to each new day rather than living in the past. You've reached a junction in your life and the journey ahead is unknown, but this time you are armed with experience and knowledge. The journey can be scary but hopefully exciting too. Here you are with the opportunity to carve out a new life for yourself and cast off all that baggage that has been weighing you down.

In the early days you must get out there, put a smile on your face and pretend that you're happy and enjoying life. One day, and it will happen sooner than you think, you'll realise that you're not actually pretending any more.

The best is yet to come...

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Laurie
xx

Married Al on Valentines Day 2006

Wyatt born 13th January 2007 & Baby #2 due 7th January 2009

Laurie - wise words!! it is so true you have to carry on like nothing is wrong and eventualy you realise that you are a good person and life is good.

You are a inspiration lauz xx

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Love & hugs Taz x

Laurie, you are quite amazing....

x

OMG Ive got tears in my eyes reading that. Laurie you are such a fab woman. Well done to you for letting others know that despite all the heartache there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

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