Church Question! - Wedding Forum

Lady Rools · #1 (**permalink**) 14-04-2003, 11:37 AM

Hello All

I am a catholic and H2B is not any religion. I really want a catholic ceremony and I know he is a bit apprehensive about it as he will have to take 'instruction'. Has anyone been to this..what does it involve? is it full on religion in your face as he wouldn't be able to cope with that.

Also, I want to get married at St Chads Cathedral which isn't my parish church...although I did grow up there as both of my brothers were in the cathedral choir for about 10 years.....what di I do? Just call them up?

Thanks all
xx

Lo · #2 (**permalink**) 14-04-2003, 11:42 AM

I'm not sure if Catholic is the same as C of E, but to marry outside of your parish you can apply for a special licence (sp?) at the church's discretion, I think!

Not sure about the "taking instruction", Mark didn't have to do that for our C of E service

Lo xx

J · #3 (**permalink**) 14-04-2003, 12:54 PM

Not up on the Catholic church, but give the cathedral a call, explain the link and see if they'd be prepared to marry you there. If its anything like the CofE, then its just down the the discretion of the priests involved.

HTH

Jon x

#4 (**permalink**) 15-04-2003, 05:18 PM

hi rooley.... alec and i are marrying in a catholic church..

im catholic but alec is romanian orthodox ... he does not want to convert to catholicism as he isnt very religious... so we called the catholic priest and explained that we wanted to marry but where different religions...

anyway as it turns out the priest will marry us because although alec is orthodox as long as the person you want to marry are a baptised christian they will marry you without need of your partner having to convert....... actually our preost was lovely he was very interested in alec's relgion and offered him advice on where he could worship at an orthodox church

i think that there may be problems if for example your partner is jewish or hindu etc i think ... im not sure why exactly but im guessing it is to do with different relgion beliefs betwenn christian religion and jew/hindu etc....... not meaning to offend anyone here just remembering what the priest told us

you have to attend a wedding preparation course which is organised by the priest usually this is one day and it prepares you for the foundation of the marriage... the catholic proest will give you a contact number to arrange to attend the course..

another thing is they will ask you if you will raise any children as catholics... you nolonger have to raise the children as catholics so if you choose not to then the priest should still agree to marry you..

and finally i also think that a special license is needed to marry outside of your parish church would assume your parish priest arranges this!

huh hope this helps alec and i had a "interview" with my local parish priest when we visited home at christmas i would enquire with your priest the exact procedures but what i ve written is a rough guide

Jacqui · #5 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 09:55 AM

Jac the Cath here!
well, as far as marring outside of your parish, that is what we are doing. We contacted the priest of the church we want to wed in, told him that we would like to marry there (in our case it is not the parish we grew up in and explained that it was for personal reasons that we wished to wed elsewhere). say it was the church you grew up in and it means a lot to you wed there - or alternatively say that it is for personal reasons that you wish to marry there.

he will then ask you to contact your local parish priest and he will get the ball rolling regarding forms and pre marriage course. I think really it depends how nice the priest you are dealing with on the smooth running of this. I know of one couple that got married in Ireland but as they lived in various places in London, they had to get letters of freedom from each of the parishes to prove that they did not marry before...we didn't have to do that thanks be to God! The cermony is quite religious...understanable considering it a religious event! but again it depends on the priest doing the mass on the day. My sisters one was great - really funny and laid back. you get to pick out the readings and have a choice on which vows you would like to say. Trev is not religious as well. Although he was babtised catholic and that does makes things easier...he just neglects to mention that he is a Jedi to the priest. Was your husband babtised into any religion? Reading on one of the posts about bringing your kids up catholic - I think that is a big thing where the marriage is concerned but I know that will be down to me and Trev just keeps his mouth shut and nodds when asked about this.

for us there was really no hassle. So have a chat with both the parish priest in the place you wish to wed and then your local one. by the way, what did you mean by being "apprehensive about it as he will have to take 'instruction'"??? did I miss something ????

L
Jac
xxx

AngelaW · #6 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jacqui
by the way, what did you mean by being "apprehensive about it as he will have to take 'instruction'"??? did I miss something ????

I think that some Catholic churches do make catholic/non-catholic couples do marriage preparation courses so that the non-catholic part of the couple understands the full import of marriage.... I do remember my boss complaining about it but I didn't listen very much

Jacqui · #7 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:41 AM

All catholics have to do one. from what I gather there isn't anything about what to do and what not to do, it more sitting down and looking at what marrage life can be like, the ups and downs etc. Also I think you do a personality test type of thing where you answer a list of questions and then they assess your personality type...why I don't know, not as if you are going to call off the wedding if you don't match!
nothing to worry about really.

Jac
xxx