Top Tables? - Wedding Forum

AngelaW · #1 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 09:47 AM

I have three bridesmaids - tradition says that the chief bridesmaid should sit at the top table but it doesn't say where the others should go?? Can I sit them all at the top table? And yes... I am thinking about this a bit early

Bianca · #2 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 09:51 AM

I am sitting all of mine on the top table.

From left to right as you look at the table will be

CBM Flower girl Mother Me H2B Mother Father Bridesmaid Best man

9 people, quite a few but I think it will be fine

J · #3 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 09:55 AM

I may be wrong, but don't they all just sit at other tables??? I think the "traditional" top table is bride, groom, best man, CBM, parents of both bride and groom. That makes 8 in theory, but nowt to stop you squeezing a couple more on.

Jx

Karen · #4 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 09:56 AM

Traditionally it is just the CBM at the top table but to be honest I don't think it really matters as long as it doesn't look silly haveing a table that seems to go on forever with people.

My other bridesmaids sat with there families

Karen

Jacqui · #5 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 09:58 AM

I think now a days it is really up to you and how you would like it. For mine I will only have my sis (CBM) as otherwise there will be 4 of them and very little room for anyone else!

Jac
xxx

AngelaW · #6 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:03 AM

How does this look?

BM1 BM2 FIL Mum Dave Me Dad MIL Best Man BM3

BM3 has to go beside the Best Man because she's the only bridesmaid that he doesn't obviously fancy (well, he hasn't met her yet, so who knows?) What possessed me to have three bridesmaids??

AngelaW · #7 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:06 AM

I don't have a CBM

I couldn't decide so decided to make them all equal!!!! Hence my problem.

Bianca · #8 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:08 AM

thats why my CBM is at the other end to our Best man!! He's lovely, has a girl friend but is an awful flirt and I just know he'd fancy her

Bianca · #9 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:09 AM

That set up looks fine to me

I have to have all 3 on our table, one is travelling from Italy so really feel she should be there and if the other two are sitting with us and the flower girl/younger bm wasnt she'd be very upset.

roz · #10 (**permalink**) 17-04-2003, 10:13 AM

The alternative I guess would be just you and your parents and site the bms and bm somewhere else...

claireg · #11 (**permalink**) 18-04-2003, 12:30 PM

Were having circular tables and having two of these as top tables one of them will have Both sets of parents,best man and his girlfriend, one of the bridesmaids and my Gran on, the other will have Simon and I, The other bridesmaid and her fiance, a friend whos doing a reading and her husband, and a family friend whos doing a speech instead of my Dad and his wife and also my sister!

Jen1 · #12 (**permalink**) 18-04-2003, 07:03 PM

Hi Angela

I have 4 (yes, 4!) bridesmaids and I will most likely sit them all at the top table. I also have 2 young flowergirls (please don't ask!!) but they will be sitting with their parents.

I think it's nice to have them up there as they are all part of the bridal party.

You have a few months to make up your mind. Why not ask the venue?

Jen xx

Heather · #13 (**permalink**) 19-04-2003, 07:13 AM

I think with so many weddings nowadays that aren't "traditional" it's really the couples choice as to who sits on the top tabe........

at our wedding we only had a flowergirl & a pageboy so they sat with their mum & dad, at my cousins wedding all 3 bridesmaids sat on the top table and then at my friends wedding last year only her sister sat on the top table, the other 2 bridemaids sat with their partners at other tables!

It really is your choice, and also what you think your bridesmaids will feel comfortable with.

H

nikki · #14 (**permalink**) 19-04-2003, 02:29 PM

Yup, any way you fancy is good these days.... your setup looks fine!

We had CBM on the top table with her fiance since my brother wasn't allowed to sit there as best man - his wife wouldn't let him!

N xxx

Jen · #15 (**permalink**) 10-05-2003, 05:05 AM

Sorry to hijack your thread Angela, but this addresses an issue I've avoided for AGES.....

My father died, his dad's cousin is giving me away. My nan has been my "rock" for many years, I'm not particularly close to my mum. My mum would be broken hearted if she wasn't on the top table, my nan I'd love to have as a show of respect/thanks for how important she is to me. My dad's cousin wouldn't mind not being on top table (I think) but H2B says its not fair if he's giving me away, giving a speech etc to be relegated to another table. H2Bs parents are fab, and will certainly have top table status. To top it all my mum is deaf, and H2Bs not a conversationalist so would be weird for them to sit next to each other. These are our options:

CBM, H2BD, H2BM, H2B, B2B, Dad's Cousin, B2BM, BM
or
CBM, H2BD, H2BM, H2B, B2B, Nana, B2BM, BM

H2B don't rate the idea of Dad's cousin not being at top but can see why I'd want my nan there...

Also, H2Bs not keen on just a Bride/Groom throne-y thing as he think this is unfair to his parents, who are "normal"

Please help. I know no-one can make this decision for me but I need help!!!

Thanks,
Jen
xxx

Beth · #16 (**permalink**) 10-05-2003, 04:37 PM

Jen,

Are you limited to the amount of people that you can have sat on the top table? If not you can have who you want sat next to whoever you want them to be sat next to as you can justify any seating arrangement you make, can't you?

I agree that anyone making a speech needs to be on the top table, but if you want your 2nd cousin three times removed on you grandfather's mother's side four times removed and then twisted sat on the top table.... you can! It's your wedding

This probably hasn't been any help

jesscakes · #17 (**permalink**) 11-05-2003, 05:34 PM

Angela - I had 3 bm's and they all sat on the top table along with me, Jamie, our parents and the best man. This made 10 all together and was a good number. We had round tables.

Jen - if you want your Nan on the top table with you then have her, as there is no law saying who you must or must not have on the top table. I think it would be nice to accommodate every body if you could!

hth

Jessx

Looby Lou · #18 (**permalink**) 12-05-2003, 07:03 AM

I think go with what feels right. As my mum has passed away I will be having my MOH in her place and my other BM in place of the CBM. My dad and FMIL do not get on so I have placed H2B next to his mum instead.

I think whatever you fancy you should have. At my brothers wedding there were 3 BM at the top table (Though it was a big top table).
Just make sure you have the space and the hotel are fine with it.

vickilewis · #19 (**permalink**) 12-05-2003, 09:27 AM

we had a titichy top table. there was just me chris and bestman and bm. so it was

sara me chris marlon

the reason being if we had both sets of parents there would have also been my little brother who is only 8 and our son charlie so it would have made 10 and since our wedding breakfast was a small affair we made it more modern and just the four of us. it worked fine and made sure everyone was mixed up and chatting.