My brother is getting married on 5/24, the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend. He lives in Baton Rouge, LA; I live in Dallas, TX. All 3 of my boys are in the wedding (12 yr old - groomsman, 8 and 5 yr olds - ring bearers). Hubby can't even get off work to go (works for govt - that's another story).

Rehearsal dinner is Friday night before Sat. wedding. When I told my brother in Dec. than I would fly out Fri with the boys but the earliest I could get there was Fri evening, he pulled them out the wedding because his fiancee' was freaking out that we were going to miss the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I was hurt - we didn't speak for a month. He later apologized and asked that they be in the wedding again; however, airfare tickets were not available to get 4 people roundtrip from Dallas to Baton Rouge (or New Orleans) for less than $200each (people go down there on long weekends like Memorial Day to gamble, etc...the airlines don't need to give me a deal!!).

I told him I couldn't afford to fly and would have to drive. I'm taking a vacation day and pulling the boys from school (our school district will slap my hand heavily for a 'non-illness' related absence) to leave at (hopefully) 8am for an 8 1/2 hour drive to BR. I told my brother I'd make it there for him for the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, which will start after we arrive. Warned him about what to expect from 3 kids who have been cooped up in a car all day.

This is where I get really upset. I told him I'd be too exhausted to drive the extra hour-plus to our mom's house and could I stay somewhere in BR? He replied that they saved a block of rooms at a hotel for about $80, so it "shouldn't cost you that much." Am I wrong here, but I expected that he at least offer to put us up with the efforts I'm going through to get there for him when he wants, and I am already paying for all the boys' tuxedo rentals (which I learned will be approx $300US). My 'long weekend' is shot because I'll be driving home on Memorial Day, and driving with children is not a lot of fun.

Do I just say nothing, or should I tell him how I feel and ask if he could help?

HI There and welcome to Groovy!

I would say talk to your brother...he is after all flesh and blood. I would say he is probably quite stressed with the whole wedding and not being as thoughtful as he usually would be in offering you somewhere to stay and appreciating the effort you are making.

I hope you and your children have a great time and that your long drive is safe xx

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Lady Rools

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Hello MWT1013!!!

Not a nice situation to be in. I have no idea how tihngs are done in the states regarding the weddings but in my experience the guests usually pay for their own accomadation. Now, after saying that, the bride and groom (or parents of the bride) pay for the bridal party outfits - ie flower girl, brides maids, page boys, etc. I take it that they asked for the boys to be in the wedding? well, I think it is strange that you had to pay for the tuxes.
Rooley made a good point of just having a chat with your brother about this. Explain that you can't afford the accomadation as well as the tuxes and that perhaps he could help you out with paying for the later...they that can go towards the accomadation.

good luck with all of this and let us know how it turns out. Safe driving!!!!!!

L
Jac
xxx

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Ah those were the days!

Difficult one this. Usually guests do pay for their own accommodation but it sounds like you really can't afford it at the moment. Could you try hinting in some way - like pointing out that you are driving all that way cos you can't afford to fly?

Let us know how you get on.

N xxx

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Leo Philip Smith born 20.3.05

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