Inviting Ex's - Wedding Forum

stack · #1 (**permalink**) 13-06-2003, 11:28 PM

Whats the norm i recently found out from phils sis in law that his cousins g/friend who i dont really like snogged him before

she thought i know and i was a bit shocked when she told me as this girls a bit of a tart

but now hes told me they went out but only for one date

i dont really want her anywhere near me at the best of times never mind my wedding day

should i invite her but ignore her or just say family only

stupid ex's

help me

gillifish · #2 (**permalink**) 14-06-2003, 12:03 AM

Hiya,

I've voted yes if you are friends. Does it really bother your H2B if she is there or not?? if it doesn't then don't invite her. If he wants her there and you are comfortable with that then invite her and she'll disappear into the crowd for the day...... HOWEVER, if she makes you uncomfortable, explain that to your H2B and he should see why you don't want her there....... doesn't sound like you are happy having her there so I would say keep it family

don't stress though, take the fact that H2B never mentioned it as a sign that she isn't important enough to mention

HTH

Gilli

Lady Rools · #3 (**permalink**) 14-06-2003, 06:16 AM

My H2b was totally in love with one of his mates when he was a teenager and they snogged and indulged in heavy petting ( I LOVE that term it's so grim) when they were about 16...I'm having her as my bridesmaid.

I was wierd about it to start with when I first met H2B but they are still mates 12 years later and she's now a really good friend of mine too.

Just think.....your H2B is marrying YOU...and I would invite her just to show her that you have no issues as he's marrying you and she is still on the shelf.

Jen · #4 (**permalink**) 14-06-2003, 06:43 AM

I used to think if I wanted to invite an ex then I should....I mean if I wanted to that showed there was nothing for h2b to worry about etc., but I know he wouldn't have it.

After thinking about it though it is blummin weird. (Sorry for the lass who's sisters ex husbands went to their wedding as they were such good pals - I think thats great!) And although I've got no issues with any of his exs its fine they dont come!

So I've voted No under no circumstances, although it's hard to say never, particulalrly if you're good pals (as in Rooley's case...) Not that I'm indecisive or anything

Jen
xxx

Heather · #5 (**permalink**) 14-06-2003, 07:37 AM

I put yes if you're friends, but I think more importantly it's how your other half feels!!

One of Matt's best friends is a girl....... they're pretty much like brother & sister! They dated for a little while before he joined the army, I do find it odd, but I know their relationship is so much better as friends, plus I get on with her really well so it wasn't an issue!

I think it's really a personal decision, speak to Phil & see what he feels.

H

fionab · #6 (**permalink**) 14-06-2003, 12:58 PM

If your inviting people plus guest then you can't really single out this particular cousin of Phil's to just them on the invite. It would be just putting the cat amoung the pigeons as far his his family are concerned ( you know what I'm getting at!) But then again you didn't like the cousin's girlfriend before you found out that Phil had snogged them before, so that doesn't make much difference.

Everybody had a life before they met their future wife / husband so it's not as if you can expect anyone not to have present day contact with someone that they have a past with, unless of course it all ended quite messy and they spend their time deliberately avoiding all contact with said person.

I don't think snogging someone and going out with them only once would count them as being an ex anyway. If that was the case then I'm sure everyone would probably have a few ex's at their weddings - let alone have them as their CBM and bridesmaid - But that's another couple of stories altogether!

Fi
xxx

sapphire_aus · #7 (**permalink**) 15-06-2003, 04:31 AM

I want to invite my fiance's ex-wife. Not because we're friends, we're not, although we've met a few times. But because her/his children will be involved in the wedding party, and I think as a mother, she would love to see her children in their best outfits at a big function. It's up to her whether she says no or not.

nikki · #8 (**permalink**) 15-06-2003, 04:35 PM

I wasn't sure what to vote at all, but for th record, I invited the bloke I'd had a thing with for months way before I started seeing Nick, for the simple reason that he works with Nick, he was the reason I ever met Nick (and am therefore eternally grateful to him) and he and Nick are really good friends........... couldn't NOT invite him really! But we do both like him so it was no issue at all. It might have been different if I'd hated him!

N xxxx

J · #9 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 05:21 AM

I voted yes if you're friends. I had a friend at the wedding who had a "thing" for me at university (not really reciprocated, I liked her as a friend), and the first thing she said to Karen when she met her was along the lines of "So, has Jonathan told you about me and him"

.

Jx

Teresa · #10 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 07:14 AM

I'd say yes but only if you are friends and get on ok. I wouldn't invite other people I don't like or don't get on with so wouldn't invite an ex of mine if we weren't friends. I wouldn't want h2b's ex's there either unless they were good friends and not much had gone on or it was a long time ago. I just think it would be too weird to have old boyfriends or girlfriends there.

Saying that though if they are now the partner of someone else like a family member who is coming to the wedding then this makes it a bit harder to no invite them. If you are saying cousin plus guest then he will bring her. Otherwise you have to invite just him on his own and say it is just family.

Sorry not much help am I?

stack · #11 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 06:50 PM

phil doesnt really like her either but he feels obliged to invite her cause shes a partner but we said we wouldnt do that just invite partners if we didnt like or know them