should i have all family at wedding ? - Wedding Forum

niki · #1 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 09:16 AM

im having a diliema. my parents divorced 2 years ago and now they are both remarried to new partners should i invite them all to my wedding. you see , my dad had an affair and the divorce was messy, i stuck by my mum but now talk to my dad again. i would like my dad to give me away but i dont want to upset anyone on my special day.:confused:

J · #2 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 09:21 AM

to Groovy, Niki.

I think its only an answer you can come up with. How would your mother react if he came? If everyone is okay with each other now, then maybe it would be a pretty safe bet.

Jx

Bianca · #3 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 09:34 AM

I agree with J, if you mum would be ok with this then I think you should invite your dad.

When are you getting married? How are your plans coming on?

nessa · #4 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 09:37 AM

Hi Niki,

First of all welcome to Groovy,

I was in exactly the same predicament as yourself.

I invited all of them, but on the top table I had just my mum & dad, and then their respective partner's sat on tables with their families.

The way I looked at it, was if they couldn't be civil for me for 1 day, then I didn't want them there.

They were all fine, and it worked well.

HTH.

Nessa

Heather · #5 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 11:49 AM

Welcome to the groovy mad house......

Have you spoken to your mum & dad about this?
If you have a chat at least you'll have some idea of what they think about the other one & their respective partners being there.

Nessa's table plan seemed to work well, it's never easy having 2 families before you get to the inlaws and I hope you can work something out so that you can have your dad give you away and everyone enjoys your day!

Let us know how it goes, and tell us all about you, your wedding etc

H

gillifish · #6 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 04:50 PM

Hiya Niki!!

Suffering from exactly the same problem but it's working itself through slowly. The biggest hurdle I've found is where we go from in the morning. I had assumed we would leave from my mum's house but that would mean my dad would be going there as he's giving me away. It turned out mum was really uncomfortable about this so we're now going from my MOH's house. It's bigger, my MOH's mum is HUGELY excited (we're getting married in December and she's started planning MENU's!) and everyone is comfortable, which for me was the most important thing. Talk to both your parents, I was really uncomfortable doing this but it feels a lot better once you do. Remember it's your day and it should be shared with those closest to you, you should be enjoying yourself though...... chin up, it get's easier!!

So tell us more about your day

Gilli

nikki · #7 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 05:18 PM

Niki!

A friend of mine was in a very similar situation but it was her mum who'd had the affair - as it was she talked it through with both parents and they agreed to be grown up for the day! She put them on the top table (well apart) and their partners on table one!

HTH

N xxx

Jen1 · #8 (**permalink**) 16-06-2003, 05:31 PM

Welcome!

I am in a similar situation except it is my h2b's parents. They divorced about 15 years ago and have both remarried. They get on for the kid's sake but there are always the snide little comments that we get behind their backs (mostly on MIL2b side).

We are just having his mum and dad on the top table - same was at his brothers wedding 5 years ago and it went okay. So fingers crossed our's will too or there will be

Good luck and I hope it works out for you
Jen xx