Are you having any troubles with your guest list? - Wedding Forum

claire · #1 (**permalink**) 29-10-2001, 03:32 PM

hellooooo,

yep i agree, guest lists are a complete nightmare, we decided that we would stick to 100 people to invite to the day of the wedding and now its at 150!!!!!!!!! :mad: :mad: .

it really annoys me as ive got to invite great uncle bob/bill/harry or what ever his name is and family and ive never seen them for 12 years!!!!!!!!!arrggggghhhhhh :mad:

but to save all the hassle weve just decided to invite them as it was causing really big bust ups with the family!.

i thought weddings were supposed to be happy times!!!!

why cant we just invite the people we want to invite eh!

nevermind enough moaning

luv
claire
:)

jesscakes · #2 (**permalink**) 02-11-2001, 08:45 AM

I totally agree! We are supposed to be having only 80 people to this wedding, and it is now 90 already. We are having to invite two people we have never met as h2b\'s uncle is re-marrying two months after us and he wants to bring his fiance and her daughter. I know this is not unreasonable, but I always swore to myself that I would recognise everyone at my wedding, and now it just isn\'t going to happen!

Also, h2b thinks all his friends should be allowed to bring partners, even if they don\'t have a current girlfriend at the time. I said to him, the single ones don\'t NEED to bring partners, but he is insistent! Oh yes, and then there are my feuding brothers who won\'t come if the other one does! All such fun and games eh??

Jxx

Bev · #3 (**permalink**) 18-11-2001, 07:52 PM

Can\'t remember what I actually posted as it\'s gone! :mad::lol:

But . . . my brother is not coming just because I cannot guarantee that he will behave himself (he\'s a lairy sort, especially when he\'s had a few!); apparently my mother told him this the other day and he was not happy. Too bad.

As for others - I agree with what you said about recognising everyone at your wedding Jess - I will recognise everyone at mine, although a couple of people I don\'t really know got slipped in courtesy of my mother. ;) Ah well, it could have been worse. :tumble:

Heather · #4 (**permalink**) 18-01-2002, 01:55 PM

Wedding list is sort of decided, we\'re only having a quiet wedding so the list is no more than 40!!

Most of mine is family :mad: Not exactly chuffed at that but it\'s got to be done otherwise my life won\'t be worth living, BUT I have been allowed to invite one of my friends and her partner no matter what.... we met on holiday in 1993 and we\'ve been close ever since!

H2B\'s list is mostly friends, still not sure about whether or not his \"adopted parents\" will be coming..... it\'s an ongoing dillema, he knows he has my support no matter what he decides!!

H :saint:

#5 (**permalink**) 20-01-2002, 09:16 PM

We are inviting everyone by name none of this & Partner malarky!

So if someone has a patner that w don\'t know they don\'t come (unless they are a particularly well established couple - just so happens we haven\'t seen them for a year or too - not many of these though, just a couple of Rich\'s cousins that he has met the & Partner of!!

Stella

Em · #6 (**permalink**) 28-01-2002, 04:40 AM

Its nice to know that lots of people seem to be having this same problem.

To be honest, the only arguments have been to do with who is going to be invited. I can't believe how much family has suddenly appeared out of the woodwork - I think its ridiculous that we have to invite people I haven't seen (and barely know) for around 15-20 yrs! But my mum is having none of it - I've given up arguing with her about it now! I think think some people are just up for a free meal and drinks! Can't see why they would care that I'm getting married, coz they don't bloody know me.

Oops.... sorry about that little rant.

Emx

stack · #7 (**permalink**) 28-01-2002, 12:51 PM

we have the same problem my guest list was 197 and has to be cut down to fit the room to 159. thats at a push, but we had cut it down when we wrote it.

fionab · #8 (**permalink**) 01-02-2002, 05:24 PM

I think I'm one of the few who's panicking that there's not enough people going to be invited.
I Don't know the limit of the room our reception's in, but its one third of a big ballroom type place so it can get opened up to let more people in if we need it. Will find out soon I hope

...I hope!

Fi
xxx

#9 (**permalink**) 01-02-2002, 05:38 PM

We had to choose between having no limitations on numbers and having the venue of our dreams. We chose the venue and thought we would have huge problems keeping the numbers for the day reception down (max.90) - but it turns out things aren't too bad anyway.
Opinions please.
I live/work in the Midlands but am getting married on the IOW where I grew up. The majority of people going to the day reception are family and really close friends. I am planning to invite people from work, some uni maytes and netball team to the church and then the evening reception.
a) Do you think this is cheeky to invite them just for this?
b) Do you think anyone will go (taking into account I've only been in my job for about 8 months and its quite a long way)?
I know it sounds really bad but I don't want to spend loads of money on invites if everyone thinks its too far to go for an evening do. On the otherhand I would love them all to be there and don't want them to think otherwise.

Suggestions on a postcard please! (or a reply post)

Fee:confused:

Bev · #10 (**permalink**) 01-02-2002, 09:20 PM

Hiya Feebee

I know only too well your dilemma, but we've gone for a much smaller wedding and everyone will be there for the whole day. If I received an invite from a wrokmate for an evening do so far away to be honest I probably wouldn't go.

I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. Would it be possible to give a different set of invitiations to the people at work? (The cheap skate in me is now on show for al to see!

). If they don't know your family and friends they will probably never know that they got different (cheaper) invites. God I'm devious. lol

Sorry I can't be more help Feebee.

Good Luck

Bevxxx

Em · #11 (**permalink**) 02-02-2002, 08:45 AM

And it doesn't get any easier.... once you have got over the nightmare of who to invite... then you have to work out the seating plan.

We started discussing this last night... and I think it is going to be the most traumatic thing yet! arghhhhhhhhhh.

Emx

Jess T · #12 (**permalink**) 02-02-2002, 03:40 PM

I am so glad I am not the only person suffering with the guest list. We wanted to keep our numbers to 150 but the total invited ended up being 170! And also my uncle phoned my dad up and asked if my cousin Robin's girlfriend was invited? Was her name on the invite? I think not! I have met her once and they don't live together. Don't people understand it's hard enough to do the guest list with out them creating more problems!
We are avoiding the seating plan nightmare by having a buffet! So I don't have to worry about that one thank God!

mella · #13 (**permalink**) 04-02-2002, 07:40 AM

Hi

we sent save the date cards so that we could rule some people out and invite others..

Its worked well to a certain extent - in that those who know they definitely can't make it have let us know.

But the others are keeping it on hold until they decide whether something better comes along. Nice eh? not all, admittedly..

It drives me mad to think how rude these people are being - they must know there are limits at weddings.

We're sending out the invites in March. And if people don't reply (in spite of us sending reply cards) we're just going to take it that they aren't coming.

I thought weddings were supposed to be happy time too. I'm getting fed up with the whole thing.

mel
xxx

Dawnie · #14 (**permalink**) 04-02-2002, 08:24 AM

It's unfortunate but you will never please everyone.

When we were planning our wedding, we were very specific on the invitations about who was invited i.e. John and Margaret rather than John and partner. We also didn't want any very young children at our wedding and we made a point of talking to all our friends who had under 5's and asked them if it would be possible not to bring them along. Because we gave them plenty of notice, everyone was really good and managed to arrange grandparents etc. This arrangement was only for the marriage service and wedding breakfast. Children of all ages were welcome for the evening bash.

We tried to be as gentle as possible with regard to people coming that we hadn't met before, but people still got upset. However, after giving us a lot of hassle they all turned up anyway minus the partners we didn't know and they certainly haven't mentioned it since. I think that people just try it on a bit so don't panic.

With regard to table plans, my advice is put the table plans together and tell NO-ONE where they are sitting. If you give people the heads up on who's on their table, people will be phoning you at all hours trying to re-arrange it and you really don't need that hassle on top of everything else.

We just plonked everyone down on the day and not one person complained about who they were with on their table

So glad I don't have to do that again though (smug smug)

Love

Dawnie

P.S we also had 80 guests to the day and only 15 of them were hubby and my family. The rest of the family (who we aren't very close to) were invited to the evening and although I gather there was a bit of resentment (not mentioned to either of us), they all came too.

HTH

D