New (ish) - any ideas? (long) - Wedding Forum

kylie_smiley · #1 (**permalink**) 11-01-2004, 12:02 PM

Haven't been on for ages, as wedding plans have been on hold as we have just moved into our new house -

me and H2B were having a talk last night about the sort of wedding we want, as we are considering setting a date soon. It transpired that he wasn't comfortable with a big church do, and wanted a more intimate ceremony, with just parents, siblings, grandparents and closest friends. This is not a problem. I am completely happy with this, and see no problems in the organisation. We can even make sure the rest of our family and friends are there to greet us as we leave the ceremony room, so the knees up starts straight away dj:

The problem we are having is whether to go for a civil ceremony or a church ceremony. We both the idea of a small intimate library with a civil ceremony, but the vows in a civil ceremony don't seem to have as much 'oomph' as a church ceremony. However, I think that 20 or so people in a church is going to feel a bit empty, so I would rather have a civil ceremony, so we get that intimate feeling we have decided we want. :

What have others dones to make a civil ceremony feel more personal and special? H2B isn't really comfortable with writing our own vows, which I respect (especially as I'm not so keen either

) but I feel we need to do something to make the ceremony 'ours', and last a bit longer.

Any ideas greatly appreciated

Kylie xxx

Heather · #2 (**permalink**) 11-01-2004, 12:56 PM

We had a small civil ceremony for our wedding... 25 guests.
The words that are used in a civil ceremony in most parts are the same as in a chruch ceremony (there is still the legal part within the church ceremony) and then for the more "intimate" parts you can have a choice or with the ok of the registrar you can write your own vowes.

The music that you choose for a civil ceremony really can make the whole thing more personal & intimate...... plus you have readings as well.

If you decide to go for a civil ceremony, have a word with the registrar when you go to book it and I'm sure they'll have some useful suggestions.

Good Luck with the plans

H

KM · #3 (**permalink**) 11-01-2004, 02:24 PM

i am having a civil ceremony too ~ about 60 guests however, but it will still be very close family & friends etc.

my 2 little sisters are going to do a reading each, and also we are going to have the lighting of a candle (which i need to find out more about etc)

me and jonathan are going to add our own few words ~ but we are fine with doing this.

we are also going through alot of samples/ suggestions, so we might not necessarily use our own words.. we'll see though.

i am sure you will be able to maximize the ceremony, it's just putting the plans together.

you'll get there ~ honest!

~ ps. the registar will also defo be able to give you some idea's ~

love karen-xx

nikki · #4 (**permalink**) 11-01-2004, 03:36 PM

We used the standard thingy at our civil do rather than write our own and it was nice really. We made it last longer through reaidngs - we had two. You can choose anything of a non-religious nature and it can be very special.

I know you live near me - did you ever go to see Bosworth Hall? It cannot be faulted, in my opinion!

N xxx

Teresa · #5 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 05:16 AM

We are having a smallish wedding with about 40ish guests. We are having a church wedding and at first I was a bit worried about the church looking or feeling a bit empty. I mentioned this to the vicar and he said that you can arrange to have everyone seated together near the front so that after you have walked down the aisle, it still feels quite intimate. I'm hoping he know's what he's talking about.

I think that with either a church or civil do you can personalise it by choosing readings and music etc. Our vicar has said that one of our readings doesn't have to be religous so we are thinking of the winnie the pooh one.

Speak to the registrar or vicar and see what they say.

Good Luck with your plans.

Kezzer · #6 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 08:01 AM

we're having a civil do. The registrar gave us a choice of 5 set ones & we mixed & matched from these. I wanted to go for the shotest one but H2B wanted to string it out!!! Here's our wording anyway, hope it gives you an idea....

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to extend a warm welcome to you here today at the_______-.
My name is _____________ and I am the Superintendent Registrar, and with me is ____________
the Registrar.

We are here today to witness the marriage of ______________ and ______________, and on their behalf, I would like to thank you for joining them to witness the start of their new life together. I know it means a great deal to them that you can be here to share in their happiness on this occasion.

Marriage is a desire by two people to share themselves and their experiences with each other, and a willingness to accept each other for who they are.

Marriage means making a commitment to developing co-operation, friendship, and mutual respect. It calls for honesty, patience, and of course humour! Marriage is where each partner cares for the other and supports them in all that they do.

Marriage requires closeness and distance – closeness for a couple growing together, and enough distance to allow each partner to be individual. A good partner in such a marriage will be loving, caring, and above all a best friend.

It is in this spirit that ___________ and __________ are now before us. In each other’s company they have found happiness, fulfillment and love. They now wish to affirm their relationship with this marriage.

READING???

Before you are joined in matrimony, I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman, voluntarily entered into for life to the exclusion of all others.

I am now going to ask each of you to declare that you know of no lawful reason why you may not be joined in matrimony to each other.

Groom/Bride, please repeat after me:
I DO SOLEMNLY DECLARE – THAT I KNOW NOT – OF ANY LAWFUL IMPEDIMENT – WHY I, _________, MAY NOT BE JOINED IN MATRIMONY, TO ____________.

Marriage is a personal, intimate decision, but a large part of its importance comes from its recognition by those who are close to the couple. So, I ask you now, in the presence of this company…

_____________ will you take _____________ to be your wife/husband, and will you remain true to her/him for the rest of your life together.

Answer: I will (repeat for the bride)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have now reached the moment where ___________ and _____________ will exchange their marriage vows with each other, so will you all please stand.

Groom/Bride, please repeat after me:
I CALL UPON, THESE PERSONS HERE PRESENT, TO WITNESS THAT I, _____________ DO TAKE THEE, _____________ TO BE MY LAWFUL WEDDING WIFE/HUSBAND,
To love, respect, and cherish, as long as we both shall live.

We have now come to the exchange of rings, which is the traditional way of sealing the contract you have both just made. The wedding ring is an unbroken circle, it has no beginning and no end. It symbolizes unending and everlasting love and is an outward sign of the lifelong promise you have made to each other.

Who has the rings?

Groom/Bride, please repeat after me:
______________, I give you this ring, as a symbol of my love, affection, and respect, now and always.

______________ and ____________, you have both now made the declarations required by law, and you have made solemn promises to one another in the presence of your family and friends gathered here today.

READING???

This day is the start of a new life together. We hope that the feelings of love that you have for each other will deepen and grow even stronger throughout the years to come.

It gives me great pleasure to declare that you are now husband and wife.
Congratulations!

KM · #7 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 11:16 AM

awwww ~ that brought tears to my weary eyes reading that

thanks for putting that up kezzer!!!

#8 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 12:46 PM

Awww that brought tears to my eyes too as it was sooo similar to what we had and it brought it all back.
When we exchanged rings and said those words we also added our own words which one bit was

'I will seek to bring you order and stability in this chaotic world'
(I remembered that bit off by heart!'

kylie_smiley · #9 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 03:22 PM

Hiya Nikki, yes, we live in Hinckley now, and we have been to see Bosworth Hall. A colleague at school got married there just before xmas, and everyone who went said it was lovely (I didn't go, as I'd only been there a term) H2B has promised that after I've asked my Dad about diosh, and we've worked out whetehr we can afford it, we can go again and look around easter time to see what it's like again

Kezzer, those vows are lovely. They're just the thing we're looking for! Thank you for posting them. I didn't realise there were alternative vows etc for civil ceremonies - does every district have a set of alternatives?

stack · #10 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 04:26 PM

aww kezzer thats lovely

we had a church do but my bro and a civil one and they were just as lovely we said our own vows which was nice they werent religious if you wanna hear them?

ok you persuaded me.

Today begins my walk with you,
Where you go, I go.
Where you stay, I stay.
When you sleep, I will sleep.
When you rise, I will rise.

I will pass my days within the sound of your voice,
And my nights within the reach of your hand.
And non shall come between us.
This I vow.

kylie_smiley · #11 (**permalink**) 12-01-2004, 05:07 PM

they are lovely vows, Stack - I'm feeling all lovey-dovey now

...grrrr wish we could just book it. I think I might play the lottery this week! I can't wait til the day I can say my own vows!

Kezzer · #12 (**permalink**) 13-01-2004, 06:45 AM

Awwwww Staaaaaaack......how did you say such beautiful vows & not bawl

#13 (**permalink**) 14-01-2004, 01:13 PM

Just thought I would post our reading which we loved.....

If in the morning when you wake,
The sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
I will be here.

I will be here,
When you feel like being quiet,
When you need to speak your mind I will listen.
Through the winning, losing, and trying we'll be together,
And I will be here.
If in the morning when you wake,
The future is unclear,
I will be here.
As sure as seasons were made for change,
Our lifetimes were made for years,
I will be here.

I will be here,
And you can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us we're older.
I will hold you, to watch you grow in beauty.

And tell you all the things you are to me.
We'll be together and I will be here.
I will be true to the promises I've made,
To you and to the one who gave you to me.
I will be here.

I will be here by Steven Curtis Chapman

xxxxxx

cariad · #14 (**permalink**) 14-01-2004, 06:52 PM

Awww I

Steven Curtis Chapman.....got lots of his cds!

We got married in a church, and we had about 70 guests, so I suppose I can't help, I'm afraid!

Mrs G xx