Is it rude to send your gift list with your invites? - Wedding Forum

Bev · #1 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 11:31 AM

Just a quick poll for you.

collette · #2 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 11:35 AM

god knows!!

or maybe 'undecided'

not much help sorry!

collettexx

roz · #3 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 11:38 AM

The invite has my M&D's contact details on, and we're putting a slip in with our www on it so people can either write to my M&D and ask for the list or log onto the website for it.

I think it's a little presumptious to put it in with the invites but as weddings are getting less formal and smaller etc I think it will become more and more accepted to put the details in with your invite. Particularly as it gets pushed harder and harder by the big firms who give out slips. But that's just their rampant commercialism!!!

Sorry.
Rant over.

milinz · #4 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 11:46 AM

I think it ok but I wasn't sure so I asked my gran who is quite an old fuddy duddy and she agreed that it was a great idea. She had just received a wedding invite that morning with one in it and thought that it was great as she did not need to phone to ask what pressie they wanted and this way she knew exactly what they wanted.

So I have decided that if my Gran is OK about it then everyone else in my and H2B's family will be fine. It's also great if there a guests who stay miles away like us as they don't need to worry about bringing it to you on the day or whatever.

Michelle

Lynne · #5 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 12:18 PM

i am putting the cards i got with mine in with our invites. I wasnt too keen on the idea and thought it a bit cheeky, but it will save all the phone calls etc. We are only having a small wedding and the ppl i have mentioned it to so far thought it was a great idea

the last invite i got had theirs in too

Karen · #6 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 12:25 PM

I do not think it is right to put the gift list in with the invites. What we have done is as soon as they have replied we have sent out a little slip with details about accommadation, dietary requirements and also our web address on, and a set of directions and the gift list.

Karen

Jess T · #7 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 01:55 PM

We did the same as Karen but did it ( as much as we could) via email to save postage. Also we sent our invites out at the beginning of January and the list wasn't up and running till the middle of Feb. I have to say I am really enjoying looking on the Debenhams web site to see if we have any more pressies. How bad am I?

Bev · #8 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 02:05 PM

Not bad at all Jess - we can't register for our gift list until we get home but we're running up to Oxford Street 2 days after we get home!

stack · #9 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 02:09 PM

i dont think its rude, there is a wee poem to put in which i think is nice. its:

We would rather your presence
than your presents,
But if you insist,
here is our list!

a few of my family think they are posh anyway but my mum says others wont ba happy being told what to buy.

but i think it saves time and maybe effort but hey at the end of the day we will get the stuff we really want rather than people spending a lot of money on things we dont like, have 5 of or will never use. :confused:

Laurie · #10 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 02:40 PM

I didn't actually put the gift lists in because I'd prepared a letter to my guests explaining why they were only invited to the evening, letting them know the hotel is offering cheap rates and giving them a map. I just put the gift list numbers in it just 'in case' they would like to buy us a gift.

zoe73 · #11 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 02:59 PM

I don't think it's rude at all - people will always ask for the list anyway so why not include it. In our case we didn't actually have much of a list (there are only a few things we need for the house) but wanted donations towards our new kitchen. So we said: We would rather have your presence than your presents so please don't think you should get us a gift! However, if you wish to give us a small gift please contact C's mum (and gave her contact details) and she will let you know what we would like.

nikki · #12 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 05:11 PM

Depends who you're sending them to ...... some people expect them (although the friend who enclosed three was, I thoughtm a bit cheeky!) whereas my mum's best friend would die of horror if she got one in an invite!!!

I always find the thought of doing it really rude but don't mind getting them in invites from other people.... but then again, I'm odd!

Nikki xxx

Bev · #13 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 10:21 PM

I don't feel comfortable with sending them with the invites, and I wouldn't really like to receive one either - I would much rather ask. I can fully understand that it is the norm these days as it is much easier all round, but it's just not for me.

mistleuk · #14 (**permalink**) 05-04-2002, 10:30 PM

i think the way i am going to deal with this is not to send them out but let people know where thet are . My idea was to leave a list with a couple of key family members and let people know who has them , that way if peopple want to use them they can but if noot they have not been put in an uncomfortable postion