Guest List Problems - Wedding Forum

Karen23 · #1 (**permalink**) 06-04-2002, 04:45 PM

I have a budget off 200 people for Evening (including the daytime guests)

And I work in an office, with lots of people 40+ who i get on with, but dont know whether to invite them all. How can you invite one and not the other??

At the moment, I have just invited my department which is 6 people and thier partners making it 12.

I am dreading giving the invites out on Monday, How do I say to people they are not invited, when all I have been talking about the past year is "THE WEDDING"

I just cant invite anymore, without knocking family and closer friends off.

HELP!!

Anyone else in this terrible situation???

Karen

No wedding present for me !!! LOL

Laurie · #2 (**permalink**) 06-04-2002, 04:58 PM

I wouldn't invite them unless you get space once the RSVPs are back. Just have a night out afterwards and show them the video/pics.

Angelmouse · #3 (**permalink**) 06-04-2002, 04:59 PM

I am in a sort of similar situation, but I don't really have a limit on evening guests. Mine is for the reception. I want to try and keep the numbers down, so I have limited my friends who come to it, just family and a couple of my friends. And Martins family is the same, family and a couple of close friends. We are trying to keep it to under 120 for the reception if we can.

I am just being honest with my work friends. There simply isn't enough room for us to invite all. So I have invited them all (well, most of them!

) to the evening party.

Fran

mistleuk · #4 (**permalink**) 06-04-2002, 05:11 PM

I am having a sort of open invtation in the evening as i am hoping to have a kkind of school reunion i left the area i am getting married in just after my GCSEs my fanily have moved back put i have never got round to it. I am getting round the budget by not offering an evening buffet i will be letting people know that. I am not entirley happy about this but as noone is helping to fund the wedding we just can't afford an evening buffet as the invitations haven't gone out yet not tpp sure what the reaction is going to be

Laurie · #5 (**permalink**) 06-04-2002, 05:19 PM

Fire regulations mean I can only have 200 people so have to be really strict! Especially seeing as Bob is in a rugby club

Bev · #6 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 01:50 AM

Karen, I agree with Laurie - I think you should hold back your work invites until you get your RSVPs back and see how many people you can accomodate then. I'm not in that position myself (thank God!) but I can imagine how stressful it must be. If you find at the end that you don't have space for all of them I would consider inviting none of them and explaining about your space predicament, and then making sure you have a great night out with all of them afterwards. Any sensible person would understand, and it would mean that there would be no sense of favouritism trying to pick who to as and who to leave out.

hth!

a7lyg · #7 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 06:58 AM

I'm getting round it by posting my invites to their home addresses - if people ask why they are not invited I will say it is because of numbers but I doubt they would be that rude!!!!!

#8 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 12:18 PM

I have the same problem! Very difficult to know where to draw the line at work. There are people who are very good friend and I really want them there, but it's so awkward! Invite as little people as you can, the more people you invite the more the ones you don't invite are going to feel left out. I ended up inviting too many, including a guy who has since resigned!! Wish i had waited a little bit longer to tell people they were invited.

stack · #9 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 01:50 PM

no work mate probs justa huge family we can only have 180 to the reception inc day guests so we have tons of family that we have to get rid of.

having a tough time of it. also not having kids our preference but were making that our excuse no room .

anna · #10 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 03:33 PM

Got the same problem at work. Am only planning to invite a few people but not sure how to give out the invites either.

cathgamble · #11 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 03:45 PM

Ours is only a small wedding, and we are having 40 guests to the wedding and 80 to the evening (including day guests).

This means we have had to be really tough about who we invite, and who we don't. Cousins and aunt/uncles that we never see haven't been invited, and work mates have had to take a back seat.

The nice thing is though, we have wound up with only people that we are really close to coming to share our day with us, which is exactly how we wanted it. Because we chose to pay for the wedding ourselves, it has been very important to keep the numbers down, and the wedding reception is on a boat so we can't have too many or it will sink!!

We both work for the same company, and so have lots of mutual friends there. We have decided to have a party for people at work a few days before the wedding instead, so that we still get to celebrate with them as well. We have just hired some space in a bar, and will put some money towards the bill at the end of the night.

nikki · #12 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 04:31 PM

Bit like Cath too - only 50 in the day, and 80 -100 in the eveining. However, it's really scary how many people are inviting themselves out of nothing but goodwill and excitement - how are you supposed to turn round and say, Sorry, I don;t want you to come actually???

Also I wanted to invite my dept at work to the whole thing cos I really like them - but we've had a new person join us (last Sept) who we can't stand (awful but true) ad I can;t invite the rest of them and not her - how rude would that be?????

Notice how we don;t have constructive advice here - just the same problem!!!

Nikki:confused:

zoe73 · #13 (**permalink**) 07-04-2002, 04:31 PM

We waited till we got some RSVP's back and then decided if we could invite all, or some, of the people we got on with from work. It turned out to be some from my work, and I got round the awkward part of those being left out by secreting the invitations for those who were invited at the back of their pidgeon holes!

Geez, I'm such a coward!