we don't really know enough about you both to say whether you over-reacted or not, all i can say is that if it were me i'd have just repalced the head of the freshner with a piccie of me (or him if u think that it might put him off!)

Seriously i don't think that you over-reacted too much, but maybe you should have just told him that you find these images offensive and that they hurt you.....calmly! I doubt if you could ever get him to stop looking at half-naked piccies of women, i think that it is part of male programming! Besides i imagine that you have an appreciation for a buff male bod when you see one

Remember that it is YOU that he is marrying!

Hope this helps

Karen banned me from putting my FHM Calendar up in the bedroom this year. Fair enough, its all about compromise.

I think talking calmly is the best way, thats what Karen did, explaining how the calendar made her feel. I sulked for a bit after that, but she was right.

Jx

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www.picturetrail.com/jonathansel keep checking for more Will photos

It wouldn't bother me too much, although i think it would be so out of character from my h2b that i would think it was some sort of joke!

Mine too - my H2B wouldn't have anything like that at all. It all boils down to the difference between men & women - men are visually stimulated, that's why they like semi-clad women. Women on the other hand are more stimulated mentally & emotionally - that's why any sort of erotica for women is more literate. (I'm talking from an English Literature point of view here- I don't do porn... ).
I know that we have the Chippendales & the Dream Boys, but women go there for a good laugh. Men take it all more seriously & sexually than that. On the other hand, I don't like the way Company etc put naked men in their mags - do they thing women are the same as men then? It's pretty demeaning, regardless of it being a man or a woman.

It's understandable why you are annoyed - I would be, because you can't help comparing yourself to them. Maybe I'd be more annoyed because it's just so not part of my upbringing, and I wouldn't want to tolerate it if my H2B needed "external stimuli" to get his kicks. He agrees with me, as it's a two way thing.

However, most men aren't hardcore about it - it's just a man thing, so it may be better just to say you aren't happy, explain why, and leave it at that. And as someone else said - just because he may find them sexy, he's not marrying them. So obviously you have a lot more to offer!

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Diane & David, 9th September 2002, Carrickfergus Elim Church.

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."

"People will seldom remember the words you spoke but they will always remember how you made them feel."



http://uk.photos.yahoo.com/northerndi

Guess I must be a bit of a "Chilled Out" B2B when it comes to this subject! I don't have any problem with it....... I've been known to buy copies of FHM for Matt as they've been sold out on camp (they never have enough copies for all the bored squaddies!)
Mind you it did have "Buffy" on the front.........

I do understand where you're coming from though but I know I wouldn't have reacted like that, maybe being a tom boy and always having that stuff around with my male mates has made me immune to it all.

At the end of the day we must all have something that these woment don't have otherwise we wouldn't all be planning our weddings to these wonderful men!

H

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The day I married my best friend
September 21st 2002, Brecon

& - March 22nd 2006 Our family is now complete.

If my H2B had bought something like that (he wouldn't) but I would have found it very offensive and reacted exactly like you!
Rachael

Sorry Alli - but I think you're overreacting. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest if Col had an air freshener like that in his car (but then again, it's unlikely he ever would because it's not really him.....but if his car was stinking and he got it free with a magazine then I think he would probably use it!)

That said, I don't know about your relationship and if really bothers you that much try and sit down and talk to him calmly. It's all about compromise (as you know) and behing hot-headed never gets me anywhere!

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Z & C: 11/05/02
http://spacetowns.com/zoe73/wedout.jpg

Hello. H2B here.

As you know, Heather thinks that it is a bit of an over-reaction.

It should be pointed out that it could have been MUCH worse. It could have been the 'educational' videos or magazines that Heather knows I have in my possession. However, she admits to knowing what MOST blokes get up to when their better halves are not around. It is a visual thing. After all, Heather is the one I want to marry, not 'Buffy'!!!!!!

Matt.

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The day I married my best friend
September 21st 2002, Brecon

& - March 22nd 2006 Our family is now complete.

My thoughts are:-

it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if Ian had that in the car, he reads FHM and all that, I even point out pretty woman to him and say cor she's got a good bod!!

Have you never looked at a hunk in a magazine, and thought PHWOAR!!!

I have chosen on the poll :- take a chill pill, but that's my thoughts.

As other people have mentioned Ian is marrying me for me, and no I haven't got a J-Lo bod (I wish I did) and I am marrying Ian for him.

Sorry if this offends.

Ness

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Thanks everyone - I am not offended at all - I just wanted to see if I was being a complete maniac or whether there were others out there who would react like me in a similar situation - I know he loves me for me, otherwise he wouldn't be marrying me, but I've had some pretty crap relationships in the past which have involved infidelity and me feeling very badly about myself so maybe my self esteem is still a bit too low. But knowing that we're all different and some agree with me and some don't has really put things in perspective, so thanks everyone!

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Love & light,
Alli x

Married Billy on Saturday 20th July 2002 at Barony Castle, Peebles and want to do it all over again!

Expecting our first child on 22nd April 2006

Love isn't about finding someone perfect....it's about learning to love an imperfect person....perfectly.

What do you find so offensive? :confused:

I wouldn't really give a damn as it's me he wants to marry, me he goes to bed with every night and me that he is infatuated with. Who cares if he looks at other women, all guys do it whether they admit it or not - it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite as long as he only feeds at home!

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Laurie
xx

Married Al on Valentines Day 2006

Wyatt born 13th January 2007 & Baby #2 due 7th January 2009

I would probaly reacted the same but at teh same time i would have know that i was realy acting on myown insecurities and as myh2b is so stubborn i would eventualy have to back down and apoligise but yes i do think i would have gone balistic at first

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Emma


Smuggie since Oct 2002

After lots of help our little born on 28th Jan 2008



when I kiss you goodnight I will
hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank
God for you, and ask him for nothing,

There is a phrase that could be used in this kind of situation,

"window-shopping is fine as long as no free samples are given and nothing is bought"

Most of my friends (all male) agree!

Ali,
Reading this I can't help thinking that you finding that air freshener and expressing your feelings might actually be a good thing ?? At least your feelings on this kind of thing are out in the open, it could be worse after you were married and he had come to assume that this (or even anything more explicit ) was okay to have around. I think getting stuff like this sorted BEFORE the big day is a very good thing. Personally, scantily dressed women (or men for that matter, ) don't bother me, but that's my personal view.

A.