OK this is a long post but I'm really stressed so please bare with me.

OK I have been living with my fiance for 6 years off and on now. Recently we decided to make the big step and are really getting into our wedding. My fiance is everything I could ever want, he's good looking, successful, treats me like gold, has loved me for years and just an all round great catch. I know when I first came on the scene 6 years ago, people were jealous as he was sort of the guy to watch.

So, we've been living together and I've always known that behind my back people say, "she's not married to him, just his girlfriend etc." I have felt that people were jealous of me but tried to ignore it.

So I have this really odd, bitchy (I mean really bitchy), 70 year old woman living next door to me but her husband and my fiance golf together so I was trying to make an effort at becoming her friend. I gave her a big can of my favorite coffee, made her a crochet center piece for her coffee table and was really going out of my way to be nice to her. Suddenly though, for no reason that I'm aware of, she starts being very rude and insulting constantly. She would say the oddest things as if she were just trying to make me miserable. She told me my necklace reminded her of a bug.

Once I told her that I wanted to learn to surf and she replied that, I was really getting old now (I'm was 35 March 2) and can't do things like that as my body won't heal like a young person. I said, "you're joking right?" She assured me she was not joking and that I was in fact old and should accept that my time has past. That was the first time I really noticed her dark side. I know I'm not old and just thought she was odd and jealous of my youth. Not only am I only 35, which is far from old age, but I also look about 23 and am told so frequently. I was getting a little concerned about being around her and started to worry about what was coming next but didn't write her off yet. She is not my full time neighbor, she just lives next door to our new Florida vacation house, so she is therefore new to me. Finally, once when I was visiting them with my fiance, she made a crack about me being his wife, then said, "oh that's right you two aren't married." I said, "not yet but, we are engaged and getting married." She said, "yeh right don't hold your breath for that too happen." I couldn't believe it. It's as if she just blurts out whatever comes to her mind. Anyways, after a few more comments like this, I decided to avoid her, not allow her into our home and not even say hello when I see her in the drive way. In other words she's out. She has shot herself in the foot too because I know she'd love to be at our house all of the time, her husband is here a lot and she kept calling my fiance her adopted son, until he started ignoring her too. My other neighbor across the street has told me that the nasty neighbor talks about me behind my back and constantly says, she isn't married to him. I said, has she ever told you that I told her we were engaged? She said no not once. I said well we are and we are having at least 150 guests.

OK so we have this new vacation home, in Florida and we have this other couple from Canada (where we live normally) that came to stay for a few days. I like this couple, who are again much older than us. Her husband works for my husband to be and they are in their 60's. She is much nicer and easier to be around that the neighbor, most people are. This is why I was especially hurt by what happened next. She, Donna, told me she has an old school neighbor living in Florida that she wanted to meet for lunch and she invited me along. So I'm having lunch with these two ladies, one of whom I know somewhat as her husband is my H2B's employee. We have been invited to her house several times in the past and the other whom I just met, Susan. I have not told alot of people about the engagement yet. The wedding is in September so I'm just holding off for now but since Donna was staying with me I was thinking I should tell her, for fun. So Susan said something and referred to my fiance as my husband (didn't know) "you and your husband" then Donna quickly jumps in and says, "oh no they are not married, she is just his girlfriend." I thought that was a little odd but again people blurt out what they are thinking and this is obviously something that is being said behind my back a lot. I said, no we are engaged and getting married soon. Susan answered "whatever" and Donna said nothing. They just acted like I said nothing and later that night Donna started a conversation about how it used to be looked down apon for people to live together but it doesn't make sense to get married anyways or something. I totally didn't reply and changed the subject. She and her husband stayed here for another day and never once asked about our engagement. It was like I'd never told her. It was a big step for me to tell her, since I know telling her could spread the word, or so I thought.

It's like either they don't believe me, don't want to believe me or don't care. It's making me so I don't want to tell people. If I get too much of this from everyone, I might just run away and get married, even though I want a wedding. I am so hurt. I don't get it. If anyone ever told me they were getting married, I'd say congratulations, ask them about it.

What is going on? Is this normal?

My family all knows and are very excited. His family doesn't know yet other than him telling his Mom he planned to marry me sometime. They don't know the ball is rolling though but he plans to tell them soon.

I feel so let down and confused. How have people reacted to your good news? Any similar stories? Thanks for reading.

do you know summat matey, u worry too much, u put too much emphasis on making other people happy, or making them like you. dont worry so much, im sure ur lovley so bum holes to the rest of em!!! if your happy, your mans happy and ur in love, dont let the other ba#***rds grind you down. I have a similar problem at work, Im a hairdresser,so mas u can imagine im talking bout life love etc. all day and i think people expected me and bri to go thru life as we was, so when we got engaged 5 years ago (been together 10!) noone saw the wedding comming, you should ave seen the shock on thier faces!!! bum holes i say! life YOUR life and just be happy with your lot! ( ill get off my soapbox now!)

Steel Stilleto's....does it really matter what a few old ladies think? They are probably jealous, and look at you and want to be your age again, and to be embarking on a wonderful marriage with your whole life together to look forward to.

You ARE getting married, so who cares if people say that it will never happen, you know it will, send them a gold embossed invite and once its on their old granny mantle piece they'll soon realise it's for real.

I've been with my H2B 7 years engaged for over five, a lot of marriages don't last that long, and yet people still make stupid and daft comments! Human beings are a stupid race and we say things we don't mean, or say things to hurt other people because of our own insecurities. Don't let everyone elses problems get on top of you.

And get some younger friends!

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Lady Rools

Vivacity, Playfulness, Honesty, Strength

I don't know about your neighbour but your friend that came to visit, I really can't see what she did wrong? You had not told her you were engaged and so when one refered to you as being married to which your friend corrected her, did you ever think that she may have been embarrassed by this? She is a guest in your house and you couldn't be bothered to let her know about such an important event in your life? Just because she stated what she was to believe the truth was, it did not mean she was always talking about behind your back. Then later Donna starting that conversation, it really strikes me that she is trying to bring up the embarrassing situation again, to sort it out. She seems like a nice lady to me. If you don't tell people that you are engaged, they cannot know.

As for the neighbour, well, Don't be rude, she might be in her way, at least the way you precieve some her, but there is nothing to gain by ignoring an old woman. Say hi to her, there is nothing to lose in doing that and you can just leave it at that.

Now, why not just out there and tell everyone that knows you that you are engaged. No, not everyone will be jumping over the moon for you but that's the way it goes.

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Ah those were the days!