Is it different ? - Wedding Forum

Minos · #1 (**permalink**) 10-10-2005, 10:33 AM

Hello,

I've recently moved in with my girlfriend and everything is great. I want to ask her to marry me but to be honest I am a little afraid of the consequences of marriage. How is it? Is it different ? How many have changed immediately as you became married?

Thanks.

Thela · #2 (**permalink**) 10-10-2005, 02:16 PM

Hi Minos,

to Groovy.

I'm presently engaged, so not married yet. However, I've been with my fiance for 5 years, 4 of which we have lived together. I make the assumption that nothing is going to change once we get married. Whenever I picture my future, his part of it and that image isn't going to change if we have the same surname or not.

The biggest test for me was "could we live together?", and since we have I know him a lot better. Including all his annoying habits that I don't mind over looking and actully would probably miss if he stopped.

Hope that helps

Sara · #3 (**permalink**) 10-10-2005, 03:13 PM

I've been married for a couple of months and we lived together for two years before the wedding. For me, and I can only speak personally it does feel different. It feels more permanent and it has changed things for us - not in a bad way but it just feels more real somehow.

I think some people may get married hoping it will change their relationship for the better and in my experience from talking to friends etc. it really doesn't. If however, your relationship is already a good one, there is no reason why things should radically change.

I hope it has helped you slightly. Obviously, I guess it is probably different for everyone.

Festibride · #4 (**permalink**) 10-10-2005, 04:47 PM

I´m only engaged not married but I feel so much better knowing that he loves me enough to spend the rest of his life with me, that he wants to wake up with me for the rest of his life and not just until something better comes along.

When she says yes to you, you´ll see what i mean!

Think hard, if you know she is the one, what you got to lose?

Minos · #5 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 08:43 AM

Well ... almost every day I see more and more reasons to think that she is the one so I don't have a problem with that. The thing is that I am a little worried that things will change (and not in a good way) after we get merried.
BTW: What do you think about this ring ?
http://www.bebimi.com/product/Platin...4-ct-G-VS2.htm

I want us to be finally engaged and I think I found the ring I want to see on her finger.
Shoot away ...

Lady Rools · #6 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 08:53 AM

Gorgeous ring.

Another one who thinks that if you have ag good relationship anyway, marraige just makes things get better.

Some people think marriage will plaster over the cracks in their relationships, and this doesn't work. The cracks just come up bigger

Good luck with proposing!

Tiny · #7 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 04:45 PM

I think you know already what you want to do so just follow your heart......

Mrs Mac · #8 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 07:12 PM

I lived with my man from our 2nd date. ( we met on the net)You just know when uve met the right person as everything slots into place!
I personally feel like we are already "married", we've made the biggest commitment to live together. I cant imagine being with anyone else and wouldnt want to.
The ring is gorgeous. When you feel ready to ask your girlfriend it will be the right time...there's no rush!

Caroline · #9 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minos

Well ... almost every day I see more and more reasons to think that she is the one so I don't have a problem with that. The thing is that I am a little worried that things will change (and not in a good way) after we get merried.
BTW: What do you think about this ring ?
http://www.bebimi.com/product/Platin...4-ct-G-VS2.htm

I want us to be finally engaged and I think I found the ring I want to see on her finger.
Shoot away ...

Just thought i would come in on the ring bit - price is about right for a 0.7ct VS2 G + platinum ring (maybe a touch high), but my concern is the vaugness of the discription - the 60-75% table and 65-78% depth could add up to a lovely diamond in the right combinations - and give a stunner.. but equally it could be dead duck with the wrong combination - fancy shapes like Princess' hard harder to judge on dimensions alone - so if you can see the ring in person before laying down the money would be best judge. the setting is lovely.

if you are thinking of buying online and your in the US - i can heartily recommend http://www.whiteflash.com (my fiance got my diamond from them) http://www.winkjones.com and http://www.goodoldgold.com All three have a large stock of diamonds inhouse so if you give them a call they'll be able to see what they have to match your requirements - my fiance delt with all three when he was looking for my ring, and felt they where honest and open about the different diamonds and how they looked. Others at the diamond consumer forum http://www.pricescope.com agree on these guys being good to deal with and have sold reps.

the ring design wouldnt be a problem for them to set the diamond of your choice in - it looks like a Tiffany-style 4 prong setting - Whiteflash have one almost the exact same one for $350 in 950 platinum and for a 0.7 princess your looking at $2k - $2.5k for a 0.7ct G VS2 at whiteflash.

heres a picture of the whiteflash one:

good luck.

bron · #10 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline

Just thought i would come in on the ring bit - price is about right for a 0.7ct VS2 G + platinum ring (maybe a touch high), but my concern is the vaugness of the discription - the 60-75% table and 65-78% depth could add up to a lovely diamond in the right combinations - and give a stunner.. but equally it could be dead duck with the wrong combination - fancy shapes like Princess' hard harder to judge on dimensions alone - so if you can see the ring in person before laying down the money would be best judge. the setting is lovely.

if you are thinking of buying online and your in the US - i can heartily recommend http://www.whiteflash.com (my fiance got my diamond from them) http://www.winkjones.com and http://www.goodoldgold.com All three have a large stock of diamonds inhouse so if you give them a call they'll be able to see what they have to match your requirements - my fiance delt with all three when he was looking for my ring, and felt they where honest and open about the different diamonds and how they looked. Others at the diamond consumer forum http://www.pricescope.com agree on these guys being good to deal with and have sold reps.

the ring design wouldnt be a problem for them to set the diamond of your choice in - it looks like a Tiffany-style 4 prong setting - Whiteflash have one almost the exact same one for $350 in 950 platinum and for a 0.7 princess your looking at $2k - $2.5k for a 0.7ct G VS2 at whiteflash.

heres a picture of the whiteflash one:

good luck.

or if its the ring both you and her like then none of that really matters after all its the thought behind it

Caroline · #11 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 06:20 AM

apsolutely - i would have been happy with a bit of knotted string - or even better a candy ring *yummy*

but i mentioned the above as really the reasoning behind diamonds is their life and sparkle - and the cutters skill in getting from the dull rough rock to a sparkling gem.

the discription of the details of the cut is vauge - hence me mentioning if possible to see the ring in the store to do so - but also it does no harm to look round and see what else is around.

Minos · #12 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2b1

The ring is gorgeous. When you feel ready to ask your girlfriend it will be the right time...there's no rush!

Thanks 2b1. Its no rush indeed except that I really want to see the ring I like on her finger and I can't wait to do it.

Caroline: to be honest the company was recommended to us by a mutual friend and I literally fell in love with that ring. This could be the reason for asking about this particular e-ring. Anyway ... thanks for posting the alternatives. I promise I'll visit them ....

2b1: we met on the net too and our relationship is great although I don't want to see her chatting on the net from now on.

... Just joking ...

lissapink · #13 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 07:25 AM

hi and welcome i have just read this thread i have been married for five months and to be honest i dont think it feels that much different at all it is still has its special memories and feelings and it has made me feel whole as in im a married woman now not always having to feel out of place when i have to write single on forms or say my other half or partner and i hate that word

so we still have our independance and great friendship we still live the same as we have lived together for four years before we got wed and have a child.
there are no bad points for us in getting wed just security and the feeling of really belonging to someone if you understand, go for it when your ready and i wish you the best.

Minos · #14 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lissapink

hi and welcome i have just read this thread i have been married for five months and to be honest i dont think it feels that much different at all it is still has its special memories and feelings and it has made me feel whole as in im a married woman now not always having to feel out of place when i have to write single on forms or say my other half or partner and i hate that word

so we still have our independance and great friendship we still live the same as we have lived together for four years before we got wed and have a child.
there are no bad points for us in getting wed just security and the feeling of really belonging to someone if you understand, go for it when your ready and i wish you the best.

Vey nicely put Lissa ... your example is definitively a positive one and I am so happy there are such examples in the world. Thanks again.

Well ... I think every couple must live together for at least one year before they get married. If all things go well ... then you'll feel it your partner is THE ONE.

I have another question now ... Since we are trying to get our place stuffed with the things we like ... my budget has signifiantly decreased so .... instead of the first ring I showed you ... now I chose another one:
http://www.bebimi.com/product/14k-Wh...-I1-Size-9.htm

Do you think she'll say that I am a cheap bastard ? (please take into consideration the many things I bought for us to feel as comfortable as we can)

Caroline · #15 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 02:49 PM

honestly... no.

something to consider - some diamond stores have a trade up policy so that you can return the diamond to them at a later time and get a bigger diamond when your finances allow.

this might be a route you both want to take - or if shes like me - the origonal rings holds more than simple monetry value - but the sentiments behind the ring are more important - and size doesnt matter.

remember in my post i linked to a diamond forum called pricescope - theres a friend of my fiance who has spent the last couple of years slowly upgrading her diamond from the origonal size from when her and her (now) hubbie where at colledge and it was what he could afford and is aiming to get to about 2.5cts! Stores like Tiffany, and other high street stores have trade up policies.. as do whiteflash and others. so it might be worth asking at this place.

Now. lovely ring but the clarity of I1 is a worry for me... this is where the inclusions can be visable to the naked eye depending on where they are in the stone. so if you are going to go for that one... make sure the store has a no questions refund policy - that way if you get it and you cant see anything great... but if theres something you can see - then you can send it back for a differnet ring which hopefully you wont see anything in.

but dont worry about her thinkning your cheap.

Lady Rools · #16 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 03:33 PM

I think the ring is lovely. I like solitaires, but it honestly depends on you and your fiances choice. And of course she won't think you a cheap bastard, she is marrying you for richer for poorer, and house furnishings don't come cheap!

Good luck with it all x

Caroline · #17 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 03:54 PM

oo something else just popped into my head about the 2nd ring choice...

i belive in america, white gold sometimes contains Nickle, (unlike UK white gold) which some folk are allergic to.

and i believe the most sesative part is the earlope - so if she has whitegold earrings is possibly safe to go with white gold - or you can ask if the gold contains any nickle - and see if they can do the same ring without the nickle content (shouldnt cost any more)

Hels · #18 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 07:36 PM

I wouldn't worry about the cost, after all if it's a gift then you shouldn't need to tell her how much it cost really. I think the ring is lovely, and also special because you chose it yourself and you have chosen well! Once she receives it I'm sure she'll love it and cherish it. I would never want to change or upgrade my ring, I just love it because of what it means and represents. I have been married for 5 months now, and had my engagement ring for 2 years - I still admire it even now (it's sad I know...)

Anyway, best of luck with proposing and make sure you come back on here and tell us all about it when you've done it!

H

Hels · #19 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 07:39 PM

p.s - my diamonds are very good in colour, but do have inclusions in them which the jeweller pointed out to me when we bought it. It really doesn't make any difference to me, I knew that was the ring for me and the rest is history. Nobody else seems to notice or pointed it out and you can only see them at the right angle.

Caroline · #20 (**permalink**) 15-10-2005, 08:53 PM

inclusions aren't bad per se - every diamond has inclusions... it is graded on how visable the inclusions are under 10x magnification - so someone paying the premium for IF (internall flawless) is only flawless to 10x mag - bump that up to 63x and you'll start to see things most probly.

inclusions are your stones birthmarks - unique to your diamond. Wink Jones - a diamond seller/gemologist spoke on pricescope appraising a diamond for a friend when he noticed something under the loupe so put it under the microscope to show his friend and other half - since they where both trekkies one inclusion - the way it had formed looked like the DS9

here is one in an amythist:

There is a book called Wonders Within Gemstones that has an incredible valentine heart shaped cloud within a diamond.

I think all i'm getting at is at I1 in clarity - inclusions are easier to spot - so best, if thinking of buying it - make sure the shop will allow you to return it should you not like that particular one - the replacement will be completly different - each diamond was formed 12-13million years ago - and each is cut from different rough rocks at a ratio of 100 tons of earth moved = 1kg of gem quality diamond