EEK! meeting the vicar! - Wedding Forum

Caroline · #1 (**permalink**) 12-10-2005, 07:14 PM

We've arranged to meet the vicar who will hopefully be conducting our ceremony a week on Tuesday. I'm really nervous as I'm an atheist and haven't been to church except for weddings/ funerals since I was in Primary school. We're hoping to set a date for April/ May 2006 (we've already got most things planned out except the church). I want the bare minimum of the religious (C of E) ceremony and really don't know how to aproach the subject cos I don't want the vicar to not marry us!

Teresa · #2 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 04:18 AM

Good luck with it.

We had a C of E ceremony too and as far as I could tell there isn't anything you can cut out. If you want to get married in the church I think you have to have the full ceremony but I'm not completely sure. Our vicar was really nice but the only things we could choose were the music, hymns and readings. He told us what the rest of the ceremony would be like and would be included and we didn't really have any say in the matter.

bron · #3 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 05:58 AM

erm just interested as to why you want the c of e service as an atheist?

Caroline · #4 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bron

erm just interested as to why you want the c of e service as an atheist?

the fiance wanted to be hatched matched and dispatched in the same church... couldnt find anywhere else that took our fancy or was in budget

Tiny · #5 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 10:54 AM

Hi,

Just a question.... R 1 or both of you baptised??? cause if your not you can not get married in church. Hope I've not put a damper on anything but best to check.

Something else to watch out for... some vicors will want you to both get confirmed in to there church. We changed our venue because of this and we are glad we did we now have the church that was my 1st choise and the new vicor is modern and much nicer.

bron · #6 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiny

Hi,

Just a question.... R 1 or both of you baptised??? cause if your not you can not get married in church. Hope I've not put a damper on anything but best to check.

Something else to watch out for... some vicors will want you to both get confirmed in to there church. We changed our venue because of this and we are glad we did we now have the church that was my 1st choise and the new vicor is modern and much nicer.

thats not entirely true some clergy insist on it. Neither myself or hubbie were christened or baptised and we had no problems

Caroline · #7 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 11:46 AM

We do have a slight advantage in that the Vicar is a good friend of his family, as well as his dad being the church warden, mother in the choir, and good friends with both the Verger and Organist (tis a small village church which they have been involved with for many years) so he may be more accomodating... we shall see.

J · #8 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 02:23 PM

The church wedding is a fairly set process so you can't cut it down to the minimum.

This is the link to the CofE website which should tell you more, plus has details at the bottom about the service :
http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/weddings/

Caroline · #9 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 02:32 PM

I know I'm just gonna have to ignore the god bits - I'm more wanting to keep to the bare minimum of hymns and have no readings.

Dawnie · #10 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 02:49 PM

Ah bugger it, just enjoy the service. I do believe in God however I hadn't been to church for years prior to our wedding but I have to say I really enjoyed the whole thing - the atmosphere was electric, the church looked gorgeous all decked out with flowers and it was just special.

We didn't have any readings because neither of us have a favourite scripture but we really enjoyed the hymns.

It would be a shame to look on the church ceremony as a chore.

Caroline · #11 (**permalink**) 13-10-2005, 03:05 PM

I know I should look forward to and enjoy the church service, but the idea of standing there at the front of all those pews scares me to death. I'm not used to going to church either and don't really know what I should and should not do.

I'm hoping talking to the vicar will help with some of these issues and I might be able to relax about it.

bowden1970 · #12 (**permalink**) 23-10-2005, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dawnie

Ah bugger it, just enjoy the service. I do believe in God however I hadn't been to church for years prior to our wedding but I have to say I really enjoyed the whole thing - the atmosphere was electric, the church looked gorgeous all decked out with flowers and it was just special.

We didn't have any readings because neither of us have a favourite scripture but we really enjoyed the hymns.

It would be a shame to look on the church ceremony as a chore.

DAWN HAVE YOU GOT ANY PHOTOS OF YOU WEDDING HAS I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY OF YOURS?

Caroline · #13 (**permalink**) 25-10-2005, 07:14 PM

Update:

Met the vicar today and it wasn't at all scary!!

He doen't mind that I'm not baptised and we're now booked in for 19th May 2006!

....though I wasn't expecting to be parting with the deposit tonight!

KarenE · #14 (**permalink**) 26-10-2005, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroline

Update:

Met the vicar today and it wasn't at all scary!!

He doen't mind that I'm not baptised and we're now booked in for 19th May 2006!

....though I wasn't expecting to be parting with the deposit tonight!

@ date - shame about the deposit though...