How many arguments? - Wedding Forum

a7lyg · #1 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 09:30 AM

Is it just me or are any of you arguing with your H2Bs over absolutely nothing at all? We've had 12 arguments in the last 4 days and they've all been so stupid when you think about them. I am just getting so hacked off with H2B and the fact that he doesn't seem to give a damn about anything - I mean we are getting married 11 weeks tomorrow and he hasn't even got his ring yet! He makes half hearted attempts at everything he does these days then leaves them unfinished and I've just about had it with him! Still, I love him and I know he loves me so what can you do? What worries me is that maybe this isn't wedding nerves or stress and that cracks are beginning to appear in our relationship.........please tell me I'm not alone and that everything will be ok!!!

Zez · #2 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 09:36 AM

I don't have a lot to say except me too!! you are not alone! Had one about insurance yesterday...how stupid is that! But I know I love him and can't wait to be his wife, just wedding planning and buying our first home together is proving to be much more stressful than anticipated. I feel like my nerves are jangling all the time!!

Deep breaths....

Taz · #3 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 10:16 AM

we have not had one yet and been together 5 years!

Maybe next year when we get closer to the wedding

mella · #4 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 10:43 AM

yep - we fell out last night quite badly. Its okay now though and I'm looking forward to going home and making up properly..

I have also fallen out with my mum and had an argument with my aerobics instructor!!

And god only knows how many people have put my back up over the last week or so.

It seems I'm nothing more than a stroppy COW...

m

Karen · #5 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 10:51 AM

Yes the petty arguments have been coming in thick and fast.

I think bridezilla takes over your whole life while planning a wedding.

Karen

cariad · #6 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 10:52 AM

I'm a real moody mare - but seemingly only with my family! Maybe it's because I only get to talk to H2B for an hour at the most per day online. Don't want to waste precious time arguing - we spend most of it laughing or going "mmmm" & gazing at each other...I know, very sad!

Ask my parents & they'll tell you a whole different tale. I guess I'm a control freak, but when mum makes any suggestions I tend to get annoyed. Poor woman!

It's all to do with wanting it all to be perfect, and we've all turned into bridezillas. Simple as that!

Angelmouse · #7 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 12:21 PM

Hi,

Well, I have been arguing and he has been listenning while I go on and on.

I don't know why it is now that I am feeling like I am, but the seperation is now getting harder for me to cope with, so I have don't talk to him (we only speak on the phone...) and he wants to know why I am not talking, and the honest answer is, I don't know. I feel like I am going to lose him over this, but I just can't change how I feel.

So your not alone Alli, I think we all argue over silly things, but at the end of the day, we don't love our H2B any less

Fran

cariad · #8 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 12:37 PM

Fran, I felt like that about a week ago. I won't see David until August, and I go up & down in my emotions. It's true that when you are separated it can get harder to talk, because you just feel so frustrated with not being with them. If you tell H2B how you feel, I'm sure he'll be the same. I had a big sobby talk with mine, and it's just that he seems to handle it a lot better than me, but he's left me in no doubt how much he misses me too.

I can only say all of this because I'm having a good week this week - ask me again in a few days!

from me!

Janey · #9 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 12:44 PM

Big hugs from me girls!

I have never been in the position where I have had live away from my partner for any amount of time. i cannot begin to imagine how I would cope. I suppose its one of those situations that you have to find yourself in to realise that actually you CAN and DO cope, although at times I can imagine it doesnt feel that way.

The only piece of advice I can give is make sure you know how each other feels about the separation. Unspoken words build resentment and hatred (What is the matter with you, dont you KNOW why I miss you??) The chances are they feel exactly the same way.

Anyway, I will be thinking about you all. Take care

J
xx

Angelmouse · #10 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 02:26 PM

Thanks Diane!!

I wasn't really sure why I am feeling the way I do, I have my good days and my bad days, but now I think it is because I miss him so much, and want to be with him instead of talking on the phone or texting each other.

Only 3 more months to go and then it is all different!!!

We do tell each other how we feel about things and the way it is at the moment, but that doesn't make things that much easier, as I end up feeling like a real cow for making him down and then he tells me how he feels and I feel worse! So in a way, it is a viscious circle that we don't seem to get out of!!

Fran

collette · #11 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 02:34 PM

its just the norm i think! me and ged row when were having financial difficulties or every time hes at work for a whole week and i dont see him we get really annoyed with each other over stupid things like tidying up or even making camerons tea!! we know were doing it after a few usually and just hug and chat and spend tome together. Its just a stress thing and its true you do take it out on the ones closest to your heart, we love each other though and would never let the petty rows split us up.

collettexx

Laurie · #12 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 04:43 PM

Bob and I keep bickering but we know it's only temporary. I usually have to make the first move but it really p***es me off as he's a sulker rather than a sorter!!!

Even when I apologise (whether I should or not) he still sulks for hours!

We try to nip it in the bud now tho before we go past the point of no return. We stop and acknowledge that things are getting on top of us and try to lighten the mood. Doesn't always work mind you!

Sam2906 · #13 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 05:36 PM

No-body's perfect

I have spent ONE night apart from h2b since we moved in together 2 years ago so the odd argument here and there can be healthy!!

We didn't argue at all for the first year but then the odd one or two crept in here and there, nothing major just each of us airing our views and dis-agreeing with the other.

We started planning the wedding a year ago and, looking back on it now, that's when the arguements crept in! It seemed to put added pressure on the relationship what with money and differences of opinions important decisions.

At the end of the day we both know how much we love each other and in 8 weeks time we'll be man and wife, hopefully then the relationship will settle down again but as I said in the beginning.....nobody's perfect

(What's the saying......men are from venus, women are from mars....or someting like that

!)

Happy planning

Sam
xxxx

nikki · #14 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 05:46 PM

I frequently get ratty with my beloved but don't really argue - he is a bit useless though and I'm sure I'll argue with him as the wedding gets closer...... but I really do love him so.....

N xxx

J · #15 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 06:21 PM

Unfortunately, I'm like Laurie's Bob in that I'm a champion sulker

. We've never had any arguments really, some "serious discussions" but thats about it.

Jx

Laurie · #16 (**permalink**) 03-05-2002, 06:28 PM

OH NO!!! Not you aswell J!!!!???? Poor Karen!

Quote:

Originally posted by Jonathan
Unfortunately, I'm like Laurie's Bob in that I'm a champion sulker . We've never had any arguments really, some "serious discussions" but thats about it.

Jx

a7lyg · #17 (**permalink**) 04-05-2002, 04:10 AM

Phew thanks girls - glad I'm not the only one! I know how it is to be separated - my H2B is a submariner in the Royal Navy and when he's away, he's away - there was a time I didn't hear from him AT ALL in 2 whole months and it was around about the time the Russian submarine sank - my heart was in my mouth when I saw the TV for the split second before I realised it wasn't my H2B's boat - it is sometimes just not possible for him to phone me when he's away unless the boat surfaces, so imagine what it would be like knowing he's out there somewhere but you can't see him or even speak to him - NOT very nice at all! He is on long term sick leave just now though and I think he may be medically discharged around the time of our wedding, so I feel this is contributing to the arguments - he is scared of starting married life being unemployed and he feels that he's a failure even though his medical condition is really quite serious and nothing at all to do with anything he has done - try telling him that though! I have been arguing not only with him but with my friends and family and work colleagues too - I think it may just be the whole stress thing - whoever said this was the happiest day of your life? Obviously has never planned a wedding before

Sheryl B · #18 (**permalink**) 06-05-2002, 07:12 AM

Sorry for the late reply - if you saw my posting the other day I was really upset by the stupidest row me & H2B had over absolutely nothing. It's not the first signs of cracks it is the stress, and in a short time you will be married and everything will be rosy!