whens the best time to send the invitations out???? - Wedding Forum

claire · #1 (**permalink**) 13-01-2002, 12:26 PM

hiya gals and jonathon,

just wondering if anyone knows whens the best time to send the invites out to people were getting married 27th July ???

i was thinking about sending them late Feb early March ?? do you think this is tooo early???????

cheers
claire
x :saint:

Bev · #2 (**permalink**) 13-01-2002, 01:58 PM

From what I\'ve read it\'s anywhere between 3 months and 6weeks before the wedding. I suppose it\'s a judgement call really - you have to weight up doing it too early and people forgetting! :o but still being early enough to give people a chance to sort out arrangements.

We\'re probably going for the 3 months ish route - everyone is having to travel so far, and although we sent out info about this a while back I know most of my slack arsed mates have forgotten about booking hotel rooms etc. :rolleyes: I\'ll be getting knoks on the door of the bridal suite at 1am from pissed mates needing a floor to kip on. :lol:

J · #3 (**permalink**) 13-01-2002, 06:21 PM

As I was specifically namechecked, I feel I should answer here :D

Probably about 4 months max, 3 months sounds fine. The lady who organises our office party each year sends our memos out 3 months before so that sounds like a good benchmark (ooh, office-speak :lol:)

J x

Em · #4 (**permalink**) 14-01-2002, 04:29 AM

All the etiquette blurb states that you send send your wedding invites out between 6 and 8 weeks prior to the wedding. If you would like to send something out sooner you should send out save the date cards.

hth,
Em:D

Caz · #5 (**permalink**) 14-01-2002, 10:39 AM

Claire,
I to (as we are wedding twins) am getting maried on the 27th July and i was thinking of sending my invitations out at the end of March, i then have enough time to send any extras too. If they are sent too early people could loose them( i have a habit of doing that myself:tumble:)

Caz...
Gosh i love weddings........:D:D:D

kperryman · #6 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 05:24 AM

Hi all!
We are getting married on June 29th this year and I intend on sending out the invites mid - end of February.
some people have already told me that this is early, but when you have alot of guests coming from Australia and New Zealand as we do, they need to know early to sort out flights etc.
Also, we have alot of invites that we have to send out of courtesy more than anything else. These are to elderly relatives who we are 99% sure won\'t travel. We have a \'B\' list of people we want to send invites to as the first batch send refusals!
Karen.P.:duh:

mella · #7 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 05:31 AM

Hi Karen,

We sent out save the date cards because we\'re in a similar position to you - elderly guests, long distance ones and a B list!

I think they were sent out in October- our wedding is just a few days after yours.

Next we\'re going to send invites to those who haven\'t declined and to those on the B list. Probably at the end of March.

Sounds rotten doesn\'t it?

Mel
xxx

kperryman · #8 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 05:40 AM

Mel,
I don\'t think it sounds rotten!
We HAVE to invite all the olds even if we haven\'t seen them since we were kids don\'t we!?
But there is nothing wrong with wanting our friends with us on our big day, so why not keep them on reserve?
I think it is just showing a bit of common sense but at the same time using a little caution to hold back on the B list until refusals come in.
I didn\'t think about using the \'date\' cards early on! Now we\'ve order an ample supply of stationary so I will just use them as planned I think.
Are you sending out Gift List details with your invites?
Karen.P.:?:

mella · #9 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 05:55 AM

Hi Karen,

Yes - Thomas Cook provide some little cards to pop in with the invite. Its quite a nice card and is quite subtle, so I think it will be okay..

Are you putting your list info in with your invites?

How are you plans coming along?

Mel
xxx

kperryman · #10 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 06:15 AM

I have registered with Debenhams but we\'re not keen on their cards so we will probably add the details to a \'flyer\' we are designing which will show hotel info.
Getting on okay with most aspects of the organisation, except for a rather too laid back hotel team!
We were a bit silly and paid a deposit without giving notice of marriage at our registry office first. When we tried to do this we discovered that the hotel wasn\'t even licensed to hold Wedding Ceremonies!
I have been pushing for 2 months now but on enquiring last week found that they still hadn\'t even put the application in! It takes around 3 months once the process is started.
We call, leave messages, email etc to the Conference Manager but he rarely replies... I am getting really wound up about it and Paul (Htb) is on the verge of complaining to the top!
Great start to good relations with our hotel eh!?
Karen.P.

mella · #11 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 06:30 AM

Hi Karen,

That\'s terrible!! Did they tell you they had a license to start with? Was it a large deposit?

We were going to have a civil cerempony, but later found a church that would marry us.

Though I nearly had kittens the other day because the vicar didn\'t realise Ben hasn\'t been baptised!!! I sat through the whole service panicking !! Its okay though because I have been, and thats enough apparently.

I think you should complain - to anyone you can. Especially if you were misled over anything.

Mel
xxx

kperryman · #12 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 06:52 AM

Yes, the first time we enquired about the place they told us they were approved.
What they meant but didn\'t say is that their \'sister\' hotels were all approved - they are a chain.
I\'m just scared of getting anyone\'s back up in case it causes bad feeling and further hassle.
Karen.P.

mella · #13 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:02 AM

Karen,

I can understand that you\'re worried about causing bad relations, but they have been completely unreasonable with you.

Have you got a contract - if so does it discuss the details of your ceremony?

Is your heart completely and utterly set on that venue?

I think I\'d be very inclined to try to get my money back on the grounds that I was misled and try to find somewhere else.

If you don\'t want to do that, then you should do some foot stomping with the people in higher places to find out what their plans are exactly..

You need to know what\'s going on - I\'d be going insane if I was in the same position.

I\'m sorry you\'re having such a rough time.

Mel
xxx

Em · #14 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:07 AM

Karen,

Poor you. But I totally agree with Mel - don\'t worry about feeling bad about causing bad relations, upsetting the hotel. You really have to complain - otherwise they may never get it sorted. I would go absolutely ballistic in the same position. Do you have anything in writing? e.g. confirmation that you booked both a wedding ceremony and reception????

I hope you get this sorted.

Emx

kperryman · #15 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:35 AM

Yes, we have a contract that states the rooms booked and that they are for the purpose of a Wedding Ceremony and Reception etc etc.

I don\'t think that up to now, my Htb has realised my frustration with all of this. However, since I spelled it out to him - the timescale and all that, he is taking notice and has said that they have 2 days to answer his last call with some results!
After that it\'s complaint letter here we come!

I\'m sure that they wouldn\'t have a leg to stand on regarding refunding of our deposit (which was £1,500) and we would probably have a good case for compensation of other expenditures eg. The stationary etc.

I\'m just not sure how long to leave it before we really do say enough is enough and find somewhere else?

Karen. P.

Em · #16 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:38 AM

Karen,

What is the date of your wedding meant to be? Is it fairly close?

Emx

mella · #17 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:38 AM

Hi Karen,

You go girl!!

Maybe you could make enquiries at other places and make a provisional booking if you find somewhere.

At least you\'ll have peace of mind and a bit more choice.

Good luck with it all, and keep us posted.

(everything crossed for you cos I\'m getting good at yoga now )
Mel
xxx
:lol:

kperryman · #18 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:47 AM

Wedding is for June 29th 2002...

mella · #19 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 07:57 AM

Thats a saturday right? It might be difficult finding other places.. but not necessarily impossible.

Mel
xxx

kperryman · #20 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 08:08 AM

Well, I will let you know in a day or two what happens.
But yes, a Saturday at the busiest time of year for Weddinggs! Great eh!?
Best go and do some work now - getting the sack on top of everything wouldn\'t be a great idea!
Karen.P.:o

Bev · #21 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 08:23 AM

How do you get a B list? We don\'t know enough people to have an A list?! :lol:

Seriously though, we\'ve invited all our friends and my aubts and uncles from my mums family it comes to about 36. Not everyone has a big family, so how do people end up with guest lists with 150-200 people on them? :?:

kperryman · #22 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 08:33 AM

A list is family and close friends (around 60) and B list is friends and work colleages etc.
Htb has a few \'family friends\' that his mum wants to invite too - she lives in Brisbane! Is it the done thing in Australia?
Also Bev, in one of your other postings you said everyone in Brisbane is a size 8 & Tanned - is it true as I am visiting there in April! God help me if they are as I am a rounded 18!
Karen.P.

Bev · #23 (**permalink**) 15-01-2002, 09:01 AM

I\'m not sure about that being an Aussie tradition as such. I\'ve never been to a wedding anywhere so I have no idea about these things. :lol:

Crikey, I really don\'t have very many friends to show for 27 years. :?: Work coleagues doesn\'t apply to either of us - h2b works from home (and would never invite people from his office anyway) and I quit my job there to come here. And I can say that I wouldn\'t have invited any of them either. :lol: But then maybe I\'m just weird. ;)

The girls here all look like the ones on Neighbours and even more so Home and Away. Alot of people walking around in bikini tops and mini skirts. There are a few big girls here, but they seem to be kept well hidden. And the big clothes stores here are awful. ALthough your only an 18 so I shouldn\'t think you\'ll have too much bother. :) I\'m a 22/24 and was disgusted with the lack of choice - can\'t wait to go into Evans and Etams with my credit card!! :lol: