Do fat girls get married?! - Wedding Forum

Bev · #1 (**permalink**) 13-01-2002, 02:20 PM

This thought just occured to me actually. I\'ve been looking at tons of wedding sites tonight for photographers and all sorts of stuff, and I\'ve just realised that I\'ve probabl only seen one or two brides that would qualify as \'fat\'. So where are the others? Half the female population is a 16 or over, so where are they?? I can\'t believe that people go to so much trouble to hide big women away. Magazines are bad enough, but it\'s everywhere.

The amazing thing is that they believe that we don\'t want to see pics of big girls. Well, actually, seeing big women in wedding dresses (and not just as a apecial one off edition in a mag every once in a while) is exactly what I want to see. Seeing size 10 models doesn\'t help me picture myself on the day. So unless the readership of these mags and web sites are all size 16 and under, then I think they are missing out on something.

Or am I just raving mad? :?:

#2 (**permalink**) 30-03-2002, 06:32 AM

You are definitely not raving mad. This drives me nuts too

It's not just the wedding mags, though - all mags are guilty of it. If you're really lucky they do a 3 page special once a year on clothes for larger sizes - usually illustrated by perfectly proportioned 6 foot tall size 14 or 16 models.

It drives me mad!

OK, so I am losing weight (not for the wedding, but for health reasons), but I'm still a size 22 and will definitely be at least a size 16/18 for my wedding. I would love to see great pictures of larger sized brides - it will help me feel more confident that I too will look good on the day.

mistleuk · #3 (**permalink**) 30-03-2002, 03:37 PM

Of course we're not mad i'm a size20-22 (sometimesan 18) and yes i am going to loose wqait but not loads of weight michael loves me the way i am .
What realy annoys me though is the fact that as a larger girl we have to try on size 10-12 dresses and basicaly hope for the best when the right size tur ns up . I have spent this week dress shopping and i think i tryed on 2 dresses that fit and almost bought one of them just because of that. ^the ladies in the shops i went to said that they feel all designers should send out samples in atleast a size 16 as a dress that is too big can be pinned but a dress that is too small can't be stretched. My stunning gold dress (see what to wear) couldn't even be pinned so i missed out on all the twirling that our slimmer sistersget to do i just had to stand their with someone holding it, it still looked good though

Beth · #4 (**permalink**) 31-03-2002, 05:22 AM

The one thing I am dreading is going to get a wedding dress. Well, part of me is dreading it (not being able to try one on) but another part of me can't wait!

I'm a size 30 ( Yep, I'm FAT.... anyone less than that is small!!

) and I've only seen a few adverts or dress shops that advertise up to a size 30 (I know some would order them in etc)

I can't say I'm completely happy the way I am, and I am going to eat healthily to lose weight as I need to for my own health and well being (been on sooooo many diets!) but I have come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be a stick... I'm going to take it one day at a time.

I've got a man who loves me for what I am. He never, ever uses my weight against me and makes me feel sexy and gorgeous all the time. I am so lucky to have found someone on my wave length
but to answer you're original question Bev...

If you look at any of the magazines and adverts and photos FAT girls don't get married and that is why for many, many, many years (I'm 31 and been with Shawn 16 months) I convinced myself that I didn't want to get married because I'd had so many failed relationships, when the real reason was I was fat so who would want me?

The media really do send out the wrong message

BUT.... I'm happy! I'm losing weight and I'm not just doing it for my wedding day, I'm doing it for me! I know I won't lose loads but I'd like to be able to go and get a dress off the shelf and feel gorgeous in it!

Bev · #5 (**permalink**) 31-03-2002, 07:13 AM

Oooh more big girls! Woo!

I'm pleased top see that I'm not the only one that thinks this way. I haven't lost any weight for the wedding, if anything I've put weight on. I'm about a size 22/24 and 5'2 so a little barrel. But as you say fiance met me when I was this size and he loves me just as I am. I too intend to lose a bit of weigh in the future but it will be after the wedding and I can tell just from build that I will never get smaller than an 16/18, but to me that would be a fab size to be - voluptious to the max baby!

I think being big doesnt bother me so much as being wobbily! Now that bothers me.

Beth - there are some threads here with the names of designers who make bigger sizes. As this forum is starting to pick up a little I think I'm going to add a section in the links page just for Big Girls - dresses, Lingerie etc, so if you find any designers or shops that are particularly useful please let me know.

Lynne · #6 (**permalink**) 31-03-2002, 11:55 AM

Beth if it is any help, my dress is an Alfred Angelo and most of his dresses go up to a size 32! The shop i got mine from had sizes from 8 - 32. I am a 20 and I was able to try on lots of styles.

Not that that is any use for u, as I am no where near you.

The alfred angelo addy is http://www.alfredangelo.co.uk/ if you want to take a look.

Also the shop I bought mine from has quite a few bigger dresses, that might give you an idea. http://www.sol.co.uk/s/scotbrides/

HTH

Lynne

Beth · #7 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 03:54 AM

Thanks Bev and Lynne!

Bev, I'm constantly on the look out for stuff for the 'larger' bride so will add anything I find that's useful!!

Lynne, my Mum and Dad live in Scotland so I've thought of going up there and getting my dress nearer the time.... you know, taking my CBM and making a weekend of it

Lynne · #8 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 04:15 AM

where in Scotland?

if you need any help with shops just let me know

Beth · #9 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 08:25 AM

They're in Dumfriesshire but go to Edinburgh (and Carlisle) a lot. Where abouts are you?

Lynne · #10 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 10:48 AM

Im am in Dundee

#11 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 10:58 AM

I think I am going to...

with happiness. Bev you are wonderful and I feel right at home here after just seeing this thread.
I am a size 18 - 20 at the moment and am dreading the wedding dress thing. You are totally right about the magazines - its like bigger girls dont exist.... (and neither do other races but that is another thread / forum!!). I dont feel my best at the moment (who does??) and would like to tone up and trim down before the wedding but not by mad diets - my problem is my obsession with food and all they do is make me more obsessed!!!!
THank you ladies - you have all made my day (specially you Bev)
Sarah xx

Bev · #12 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 11:06 AM

Sarah -

And for all you other cuddly ladies out there too.

In all my time hunting the net looking for sites and forums to waste my time on the one thing I never found was a forum for big girls with big figures - and as we have even more problems to contend with (let's face it, for most people the dress is one of the key things they will have to sort out and one of the biggest headaches) I thought why the hell not? It was one of the reasons I started the forum - ok, the other was that Confetti wasn't working at the time.

I hope you all find what your looking for and I hope this forum gives you the help and reasurance you need.

Btw - I'm going to open a new categorary in the Links page for Big Girls, and as I'm bored I'm going to add a site or two tonight. (its 1.11am here for me

). But please feel free to add any links you come across, either here or straight to the Links section.

Let's make sure everyone gets the chance to have the dress of their dreams on their special day.

#13 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 11:50 AM

Hello everyone

I'm getting married on this year, have lost 2 stone, but need to get rid of another 3. Totally understand the problems that us larger women have to go through. But in all honesty, and its not that because I'm big, but I now truly believe that men love it when there are a few curves on a woman!!

If you're interested in loosing weight in a good way, NOT A FAD DIET, then look at www.lowcarbdiet.co.uk. Bev there is a link to an Australian Site from this page.

Bev · #14 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 11:56 AM

BB

I've seen that site, it's not bad actually. The problem I have is that Im a veggie, so I find low carb a bit harder than most. But after the wedding I'm going to try and lose a bit.

Welcome to the site, I hope you have fun here.

#15 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 02:13 PM

Hi Groovy Bev & thanks for the nice welcome

There are some veggies on the site, hope it goes well for you when you give it a go.

BB

Scotia Rover · #16 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 02:44 PM

Hiya, having just read through the postings for this topic I want to add my thoughts! I am currently a size 22 and have just bought my wedding dress. I agree with what's being said about the bridal magazines just showing us 'smaller' models, it's ludicrous! I was starting to despair looking through all the glossy magazines thinking that I was going to look like a fat pig in a dress

I will lose weight but only because I have arthritis in my spine and being overweight does me no favours! I find when I lose weight my need for serious painkillers decreases.
BUT saying all this, when I tried on my dress I felt like a millon dollars and THAT'S what counts. So girls, lose weight if you want to but remember, if you feel good as you are then go with it and stand tall and be proud of who you are inside.
Laura

cariad · #17 (**permalink**) 01-04-2002, 07:37 PM

Hi girlies. I'm a borderline 16/18 in wedding dresses, which is a bit of a pig, but anyway. I was so scared to try dresses on, because we are all used to seeing these stick thin models in bias cut silk dresses with pelvises you could slice cheese on.

However, after getting pinned into several size 12s (although the shop people were lovely about my figure, so I didn't mind too much!) - I came to a conclusion....why should I be worried about covering the bits of me up that I don't like? Why not emphasise the bits that ARE good?

trust me, I'd be the first to tell you that I don't have any redeeming features, so I needed others to tell me that I have great shoulders, a well-proportioned body, and every big girl's secret weapon - A BUST!!! (yeeaah baby!)

So - strapless & well boned it is, and I'm SO excited! My H2B completely adores me (going very tingly at the thought!), and he is utterly gorgeous - he's openly said that until a couple of years ago, he was the original "fat boy" - he's done so well in getting fit, and he motivates me so much when I am with him. I love him to bits, he's so sensitive and generous to me...ANYWAY....

- getting lost in the moment there!!

So the next time you see those skinny models just think to yourself "HA!! At least I don't have to shove half a box of Kleenex down my front to look good!".

Reubenesque - a very cool word...LOL

Oh - and one more thing - I'll be wearing the ultimate accessory that will ensure I'm the most stunning woman in the room - a HUGE smile because I'm marrying my beloved!

Beth · #18 (**permalink**) 02-04-2002, 04:08 AM

Well said Cariad!!

My problem (apart from being a size 30, which isn't really MY problem but anybody elses!) is that I don't have a bust!!!

Seriously! I'm a size 30 and only a B cup!!

I wish I had a bigger bust but in a way I know that a smaller bust makes me look smaller, as I am so big.

I would also like to say that a size 16-18 is NOT fat! When the average woman in the UK is a size 16 you're not fat!

Being here has made me realise some important things. I know I need to lose weight but it's a health issue. My man adores me for what I am and I adore him for what he is... it's a lovely never ending circle and lastly I'm slowly, but surely, coming to the conclusion that I don't need to dread going to try my dress on. I'll find one that I'll fall in love with and if all else fails I'll make my own and be the most original bride in history. Shawn won't even notice my dress because he only sees me

#19 (**permalink**) 02-04-2002, 09:04 AM

Hi Everyone
I to am over the average size at a 26-28 and am trying to loose some for health reasons i have arthritis. The magazines make you wanna spit i think they should launch a new bridal magazine dedicted to larger beautiful brides like all of us what do you think girls:confused:

Beth · #20 (**permalink**) 02-04-2002, 09:32 AM

Totally agree!!

As long as the fashions are up to date. Some of the dresses that they expect 'larger' ladies to go for seem old fashioned to me. My personal choice isn't lacey and frilly I rather like sleek and sexy and also wouldn't big and bouncy make you look bigger than you really are? I'm annoyed that nearly all dresses are strapless or thin straps. I wouldn't be able to wear just a bodice with my arms!!!

I'd have to have a bolero or sleeves!!

#21 (**permalink**) 02-04-2002, 09:44 AM

I know totally what you mean. I went into one shop with my Mum and tried on a dress with a big skirt and it made me look even bigger im all for narrower skirts and some sort of sleeve. Am going hunting again in a couple of weeks will keep you all posted if i cant find anything i like i may well end up getting something made have any of you thought about this