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does anyone else feel like just cancelling everything and running away? I don't think i can do this anymore since my mum died i always wanted to get marrieda t the chapel where we scattered her ashes in the lake district, iit was all booke dbut then due to a mix up with the wedding coordinater that all fell through, we got our depoist back but they had no dates left for this year , so we had to have a rethink, my extended familt are being realy heplful mainly due to the fact that they felel a little guilty tgthey have hardly been in touch with me since my mum died so i thinkk they are trying to make up for that and they are being great,
My h2b won't talk about the wedding as we are struggling to get the funds so he just won't talk about it as he gets annoyed, his father won't even tell us if he is coming or not , and then when i do ring home and speack to my brother ( he split from his girlfriend about 4 mths ago) he tells me that no one is interested in my wedding and its all a lot of fuss about nothing but it seems to my wedding is the only thing keeping my dad together, its all he talks about but due to brother being a complete W***** my dad has no money has he has had to use all his savings to pay off my brothers debts,and so he can't help us out so he gets realy upset about it so i don't want to upset him more.
i have never asked for anything from my dad, when i was at uni he didn't even make up my grant as he was an Ofsted inspecter so he never knew when he was going to be paid.
It just seems like evrything is going wrong the band we had booked has broke up and now we can't find another one or even a disco,
all i want is an informal day with everyone i care about there and it just seems we can't even arrange that
I'm sorry for taking everyones time up but i just can't stop stressing about everything and just want to cry as there is noone i can realy talk to at the moment ( my cbm maids in hosp at teh mo)
__________________ Emma
Smuggie since Oct 2002
After lots of help our little born on 28th Jan 2008
when I kiss you goodnight I will
hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank
God for you, and ask him for nothing,
I know exactly how you feel because Mark and I were on the verge of cancelling everything and buggering off on our own a few weeks back. Had we been the ones paying for it all we would have, but as my mum has paid for the reception then there was no way that we could. Things have calmed down a little and we are just getting on with things and not thinking about it all too much.
If you do not have plans made, or a venue booked, then from what you have said I would go away and take your Dad with you and have a fantastic time. Apart from all else it can also work out cheaper as you would be doing everything on a smaller scale. But if you want to stick to your guns and have the wedding you first thought of then stay - it will get better, and I've found by not discussing it with others it seems to be a bit easier.
PM me if you want someone to rant to!!!
Perhaps you need a good cry! get it out of your system.
No matter what - you and Michael WILL be husband and wife on 5th October!!
__________________
Taking life one day at a time xx
It sounds as though you are having a truly awful time at the moment. I can not believe how insensitive and cruel your brother is being to you!! I seriously think he is badly hurt from splitting up with his girlfriend and feels that he wants someone else to hurt too, so he is being cruel to you. I am sure people are very interested in your wedding, he is just saying this because of the experience he has had, maybe he is upset that you are getting married and he isn't. His behaviour towards you is appalling, and even though I can see why he is doing it (because he is hurt) he should not be taking it out on you! Sorry, am just a bit at how he has treated you!
It seems like your H2B will not talk to you about your wedding because he thinks if it is not spoken about, the problem of funds will go away. As we both know, it wont. My Mark is very similar, he will just go quiet and not talk about something if it is worrying him. It is going to be hard, but you will have to try and speak to him about it sooner or later. Good luck with that. Maybe when you feel a bit less upset you could open a bottle of wine and try to talk things through with him?
I am really sorry that you can not get married where your mothers ashes were scattered, it must have meant so much to you, and now because of things out of your control it looks like it can not happen at the moment. It was such a lovely idea, but wherever you get married your mum will be with you.
I am sorry I don't really know what else to say, I know that nothing I can say will make you feel happier. I really wish I could do or suggest something that would help, but I don't know what.
you lot or soo lovely, i am so pleased i found this site and i realy do think cyber hugs work, i don't know what i'd do without you all
Bev we are in a similar situation the reason we haven't cancelled is that my aunts have bought my dress for me , they have spent over £900 on it so when ever i think of cancelling i feel so guilty i don't want to let them down my other aunt has made me five bouquets ( at the last count) for me to choose from and they are so excited.
I think you are right to a point about my brother but he is the one who ended his relationship by having an affair and expects us all to the pick up the pieces for him , he thinks that as we are family he can speack to me and my father anyway he wants and we will just forgive him i won't not anymore, as i live in the south he thinks i am a snob and even went to hit me the last timme i went home he was lucky that Michael hadn't come with me , Michaels very quiet but when he gooes he goes,, i'm makeing us sound like a nightmare ayt the moment and we're not i think thats is what upsets my dad he still goes to church every sunday and spends the reat of his time working with handicaopped children but my brother has just gone of the rails recently
__________________ Emma
Smuggie since Oct 2002
After lots of help our little born on 28th Jan 2008
when I kiss you goodnight I will
hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank
God for you, and ask him for nothing,
I think the other's have said what I would have said, so I just wanted you to know that I'm sending you this hug and thinking of you.
I too bury my head in the sand if there's a problem, and used to think "If I can't see it, it's not there", but my hubby has taught me to open up and I think you and your h2b need a little away time. We took a break b4 our wedding to chill out and not talk weddings, just to remember why we love each other and are doing this. You are only up the road from me and Cupid, I'm sure I could drag her up to see you and go out for a drink, just to talk to new people and free your mind for an hour or so (I'm not a hippy, honest!)
Hope my litle pearls of wisdom can at least bring a smile to you
Lo xxx
__________________
Lo & Mark - 15th September 2001
My gorgeous James, arrived 03/10/05
and Olivia completes our family, 29th March 2008
Sorry for the delay, I haven't been around much this week or I'd have been here sooner for you.
You know you are more than welcome to come down South for a visit, especially if you have family round this neck of the woods too. We could easily put you and Michael up and you could just chill out for a while, with NO wedding talk!
__________________
Laurie
xx
Married Al on Valentines Day 2006
Wyatt born 13th January 2007 & Baby #2 due 7th January 2009
I hope that my child, looking back on today
Will remember a mother who had time to play;
Because children grow up while you're not looking,
There are years ahead for cleaning and cooking.
So, quiet now cobwebs go to sleep.
I'm nursing my baby, and babies don't keep.
Do you know, it's little bloody wonder I prefer animals to people sometimes! How on earth can human beings be so damn cruel to each other? I am SO sorry that things are going so badly for you just now
I would :uzi: your brother if I could get my hands on him! The fact that he almost hit you last time really makes me
To be honest, I think you should just cut him out of your wedding plans altogether - if he thinks that no-one cares about your wedding, point him in the direction of your dad and your aunts and your extended family who very obviously DO care. He has no right to treat you the way he has and even less right to share your special day. He obviously doesn't hold love or relationships in very high regard or he wouldn't have had an affair, but whether he's upset or not, it doesn't give him any excuse to be a w***** and just because he's your brother, it doesn't mean he can be nasty to you or your dad - tell him that respect is a 2 way street and it was not his birth right - respect has to be earned!
As for your wedding plans, I agree with Bev in that if you can possibly get away, go away, but if you want to keep your plans then go ahead with them, but make sure that anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself is as far away from you on your wedding day as possible. It's dreadful that you can't get married in the church where your mum's ashes are but as Bianca says, your mum will be there, no matter where in the world you get married. My brother would have been 40 on my wedding day had he not been tragically taken from us 10 years ago and I just know he'll be with me. I'm laying my bouquet on his grave - could you perhaps scatter your bouquet where your mum's ashes were scattered as a compromise?
As for funds, I know how you feel - my H2B is now earning a third of what he was earning when we started planning the wedding as he's on long term sick leave from work, so we are really scraping by just now - we've managed to save for half the wedding and will now have to borrow half, but we've sat down and talked about it and both agreed although it will be a hard slog over the next 2 or 3 years (esp, as his future is so uncertain) we are both willing to make that sacrifice to have the wedding we want. Both sets of parents are giving us a few hundred pounds each as this is all they can afford as they are all pensioners, so the rest of it is up to us. I think if you sit down with Michael, fully prepared with your budget all set out, you should be able to come up with something together. Good luck and I just wish I lived closer to you so I could come round and cheer you up! Take care and please don't think you're taking up anyone's time - you're not.
__________________
Love & light,
Alli x
Married Billy on Saturday 20th July 2002 at Barony Castle, Peebles and want to do it all over again!
Expecting our first child on 22nd April 2006
Love isn't about finding someone perfect....it's about learning to love an imperfect person....perfectly.
Thank you to all of you , i knew i could rely on all my friends on groovy i should have done this earlier rather than let it all build up , you have all made me feel much better , heres a thankyou hug to all of you
__________________ Emma
Smuggie since Oct 2002
After lots of help our little born on 28th Jan 2008
when I kiss you goodnight I will
hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank
God for you, and ask him for nothing,
Location: The heart of the Ribble Valley - the safest place to live in Lancashire!
Posts: 20,851
Hi Emma,
Just wondering how you are my little love,
Having read through all this thread again I just want to say - PLEASE try and sort things out with family if you can - family are so important and you never know when you won't see them again, you know.... hope you can work it out,
N xxxx
__________________
Nikki and Nick married 14/12/02
George Nicholas Smith born 23.9.03
Leo Philip Smith born 20.3.05
"Help!" said Eddy
"I'm scared already.
I want my bed
I want my teddy"
a bit of a moan (long i am sorry)
Emma 
born on 28th Jan 2008
when I kiss you goodnight I will 
don't worry about taking peoples time that is what we are here for.
at how he has treated you!
James, arrived 03/10/05 
Olivia completes our family, 29th March 2008 
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