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Ok, so my finacee and I have been engaged for 3 years now, and we live together. We also have a VERY bizarre family situation. My mother refuses to give me money (partly because she doesnt have much, and partly due to bitterness from the past) and his mother is sincerely insane and has a major electra complex. Despite all the madness, we are getting married. Partly due to family issues and partly due to funding, we have decided to have a very simple variation of a hippy wedding, here in our small town of Blacksburg, Virginia.
All I know is: I want to get marrried in outdoors in the middle of a circle of friends and an inner circle of family. So basically in the middle of 2 rings of people. I want a simple dress and a boquet of daisys, and as I am having no wedding party I want each of my guests to have a daisy as well. (perhaps to put at our feet after the ceremony). I dont want to reherse the ceremony, and I want to write my own vows.
Thats about as far as I have gotten, and its all in my imaginiation. AS I am not church going, how do I find someone to marry us and respect my somewhat areligious wishes. (i believe in god and want him to be acknowledged, but thats about as far as the creator will be involved- in a very NON specific way).
We applied for our marriage license a couple of weeks ago. We had 60 days from the day we got it... the clock is ticking! help me figure out how to throw this thing together and make it beautiful and unique!!!
I am not too sure about the US laws but I know that in the UK if you get married outside of church and have a registrar marry you, you can have no religious connotations at all - we are not even allowed to have Angels by Robbie Williams played!
Maybe you could ask your local minister/priest to suggest something?
You could try & find a humanist celebrant. I'm not sure of where to look in the US, but try http://avenue.org/wash/ - as you are in Virginia, they might be able to help. I'm not sure how amenable they'd be with a mention of God, you're either for one way or the other with that kind of people...
Sheesh...as a good Christian girl, I'd never thought I'd be recommending a humanist.......
__________________ Diane & David, 9th September 2002, Carrickfergus Elim Church.
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."
"People will seldom remember the words you spoke but they will always remember how you made them feel."
Location: The heart of the Ribble Valley - the safest place to live in Lancashire!
Posts: 20,851
Hi there and welcome,
I'm not sure on the US laws either but don't you guys have it a lot easier with laws on marriage etc? If not, I would go with the Humanist idea - that way you can tie the knot legally in a little register office and do you day (sounds great) in your own way......
As for the rest of it, just get moving! Make some cute invites, get them out, book your celebrant and enjoy every single minute of what sounds like a lovely informal day.....
N xxx
__________________
Nikki and Nick married 14/12/02
George Nicholas Smith born 23.9.03
Leo Philip Smith born 20.3.05
"Help!" said Eddy
"I'm scared already.
I want my bed
I want my teddy"
I am not much help, because I am not from the US, but I know there are a few people from your side of the atlantic who come on every so often and maybe they could help out.
The plans you have so far sound wonderful! I really hope you manage to get the wedding you want.
welcome to groovy, not much fun but maybe try connacting some neo pagan groups, i have quite a few british links but noyt much overin the staes , good luck with what ever you dicide
__________________ Emma
Smuggie since Oct 2002
After lots of help our little born on 28th Jan 2008
when I kiss you goodnight I will
hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank
God for you, and ask him for nothing,
Hi, have tried some seach engines but no luck I'm afraid, your idea sounds beautiful - I hope you are able to pull it off - it should be a very memorable day - good luck and let us know how you get on........oh, and welcome to MGW!
__________________
Love & light,
Alli x
Married Billy on Saturday 20th July 2002 at Barony Castle, Peebles and want to do it all over again!
Expecting our first child on 22nd April 2006
Love isn't about finding someone perfect....it's about learning to love an imperfect person....perfectly.
In Australia we have three options legally - church, registry office or marriage celebrant (and in some states, justice of the peace).
You can have a celebrant do pretty much anything you want including any religious stuff - hymns, readings, whatever - and you can have a service which also respects other beliefs. You can have a neo-pagan service here if you like! You can have exactly what you want where you want!
In Australia there are some parts which are compulsory - the asking (asks one person if the take the other etc), the answering (i take you etc) and the pronouncement as h+w etc. Maybe it is the same where you are.
I'd contact the place you got the licence from (?registry) and ask about the legal requirements - or look up wedding celebrant in the phone book and ask them. My cousin had a small circle of family on the beach, a simple summer dress, and a sunflower.
Good luck!
__________________
my get up and go has got up and gone...........
A license for marriage in Virginia is issued by the clerk, or his deputy, of the circuit of the county or independent city of which either the bride or groom is a resident; or if neither the bride nor groom is a resident of Virginia, the license may be obtained in any county or city. In either case the ceremony may be performed elsewhere in the State. Applicants must, under oath, furnish information, required to complete the marriage record. These items are material matters, and the applicant may be subject to prosecution for perjury for violation of the portion of the statues which requires this information. For divorced persons there is no statutory waiting period before remarriage after the divorce is granted, unless remarriage is specifically prohibited by a court. In some cases, clerks may require documentary proof of age or termination of a previous marriage. Most of the offices of the clerks are closed on Saturday.
Fees.
The license is $30.00. The justice of the peace is by donation only. He or she may be permitted to charge up to $30.00 for each couple getting married.
Marriage Ceremony:
Who may perform the ceremony?
A minister of any denomination. The minister must produce proof with the religious society. Also, persons appointed by the court may perform the ceremonies. These such persons are called a Justice of the Peace.
Witnesses.
There is no requirement.
Marriage Record.
The officiator signs and completes the Marriage Register and both forms are returned to the clerk within five days. Then forwarded to the State Division of Vital Records. The couple receives a marriage certificate.
More Information:
If you need more information, contact the following individuals:
Frederick County Circuit Court
5 North Kent Street
Winchester, VA 22601
One-half block from Valley Wedding Chapel
Inquire at the Chapel for more information
Justice of the Peace
201 East Boscawen St.
Winchester, VA 22601
phone: 540-535-0090
Gary Patterson
Valley Wedding Chapel
201 East Boscawen St.
Winchester, VA 22601
phone: 540 535-0090
Adjacent to the courthouse, street level, handicap accessible
Does that help? Do an internet search for a minister in the area/town you are getting married in and away you go! Sounds like you can have what you want.
Good Luck!
Fi
__________________
my get up and go has got up and gone...........
I am not in the US either, but I know of quite a few people who have married outdoors in the US. I have no idea if this differs by state. What I'd suggest is asking on www.ultimatewedding.com which is a US-based/focused site. They have a forum for alternative weddings and I think they also have forums for different regions e.g. eastern seaboard, western seaboard, mountains etc. Good luck with your planning, it sounds fab
Raffaela, an Electra Complex is the opposite of an Oedipus complex. Its a theory put forward by Freud, so take it with a pinch of salt (I never agreed with any of the classes we had on Freudian theory at uni!). If you're still curious, take a peek here: http://www.science.mcmaster.ca/psych...son/lec2-3.htm and don't blame me if your head starts to reel
The Electra complex is the opposite of the oedipus (sp?) complex. Basically it's where the mother is in love with her son to the point of killing (ooer!) any possible threat to her relationship with her son!
Oedipus was the guy who slept with his mother! (I studied psychology at A-level!)
__________________
Lo & Mark - 15th September 2001
My gorgeous James, arrived 03/10/05
and Olivia completes our family, 29th March 2008
Help Me!!!!!
Wife and mother to two cats 
..
Diane & David, 9th September 2002, Carrickfergus Elim Church.
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." 
I really hope you manage to get the wedding you want.
born on 28th Jan 2008
when I kiss you goodnight I will 
Lady Rools 
Angela & Dave 
James, arrived 03/10/05 
Olivia completes our family, 29th March 2008 
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