Some not so great news - Wedding Forum

Rebekah · #1 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:06 AM

As some of you know H2B is in the army, so we were waiting to hear if we got the house we wanted. Well yesterday H2b left me a text to say would I call him ASAP, so i called and he said he'd been to see the families officer, and had some good news and some bad news. The good news - he told me we could have the house as soon as he gets back from his course (about 10days before the wedding) which is such a help as we don't need to rush about the day after we get married moving house! The bad news - it's not in Putney

I am at medical school in Tooting, S. London, so Putney would have been great, especially for my attatchments in Kingston and Epsom. So I asked where we are moving to, and he said Knightsbridge! Now don't get me wrong, Knightsbridge is a pretty nice place to live, and there is no way we would afford it if it wasn't army accomodation, but it is so far from where I need to be! I will have to get up at some unearthly hour of the morning to get in to 7.30am ward rounds, and I won't get home till really late as sometimes I don't finish till 10/11pm! But hey we have a house!

But now for the really bad news.....H2B was working last night, but said that he'd pop home at about 7.30 to see me. So he turns up and says he has some more news. I have known for ages that he is off on a promotion course this Sunday for 10 days. He is supposed to be going for 6 weeks, but they have let him off the second half of the course. So, he comes in and tells me that he now has to do the second part of the course - which starts on 28th July!!!!!

They are letting him have the monday off, but then he has to go back on the Tuesday! we will have one night of married life (other than our wedding night) and then he'll be off. I have not stopped

as I am so emotional and stressed at the moment.

So now I have to move to an area I don't know, into married accomodation in army barracks where I don't know anyone, and ON MY OWN!!! I have only ever lived with loads of people - 6 in the family when I was growing up, 11 in uni halls, 6 in my first student house, and I live with 5 people now! In just over 3 weeks I will be living on my own

I know this course is good for him, and if he doesn't do it he will lose out on 2 years of increased salary, and he won't get promoted, but I just wish it had come at another time. He could hve done it in November last year, but he wanted to add another licence to his driving licence!

Why can't hings just be straight forward?
I HATE THE ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tirade over........

Jo · #2 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:29 AM

Rebekah I'm so sorry to hear your news. My other half works away alot and it is one of my biggest fears that he will be working away leading upto the wedding and it will be left to me to deal with everything. Currently we can' afford a honeymoon and will only be taking a few days off after the wedding. If he gets a job away that will be good money he will take it leaving me in your situation.

Could a friend not spend a couple of days with you to ease the pain after the wedding?

Luckily not in the situation yet but I really feel for you. We have been together 5.5 years and he has spent one birthday with me so far!

I work in London so if you wanted to meet for a chat anytime just let me know.

Lady Rools · #3 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:38 AM

Focus on the positive side of things because there definitely are some:

You will be living in Knightsbridge which is a very posh area.
Your H2B will be getting a promotion with a payrise which will mean you have an easier financial future ahead of you.

You will be qualified soon so the travelling isn't forever

Concentrate on the fact that you have the rest of your lives to be married and love each other, the things which seem horrible now will actually be the building blocks for a really happy future together.

Rebekah · #4 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:39 AM

I have had a couple of fiends offer to come and stay, and my mum said she would come up if I wanted her too, so I do have that option.

Where in london do you work?

Rebekah · #5 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:41 AM

Thanks Raffaela....I know it's just a short term thing, it just gets me down when I have so many let downs because of H2Bs job. But I do love him so much, and I can put up with anything as long as I know he is coming home at the end of it....and knowing I can come back here as a smuggie for some good laughs and a whinge if I need one!

Jo · #6 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:42 AM

I work in High Holborn and 24/7 thru to 9/8 my boss is on leave so can take a few long lunch breaks and of course anytime after work.

cathgamble · #7 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:48 AM

I'm sorry it hasn't worked out as well as you hoped Rebekah. You are dead lucky to be moving to such a nice area, but I understand your concerns about travelling to work. As the others have said, this won't be forever though, so I hope you manage it for the time you need to do it for.

It is also really bad timing for your H2B's course. I would definately take up your Mum or friends on their offer, because it will make the whole thing much easier for you.

Catherine xxx

#8 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 07:53 AM

Hi Rebekah,

I can understand why you are down, but Rafaela has hit the nail on the head. You have the rest of your lives together, and although it will seem hard at the time,it will not seem so long in the whole of your life. My dad was in the army, and my mum and dad got married, then my dad was posted to Hong Kong immediately after. My mum stayed to finish her nurse training and then left for Hong Kong on the evening of her last exam, without even waiting for her results! The army is tough for families but you love your man and this is his life. You will be fine, Knightsbridge only a few tube stops from tooting, and I know you will make the george's crowd green with envy at your postcode, much better than SW17!
Hope this cheers you up,

Sue x

a7lyg · #9 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 08:51 AM

Hi Rebekah
Sorry you're feeling bad. As Rafaella says, you have to focus on the positive. You are having your wedding, moving to a good area, your hubby will be earning more money and will be promoted - you WILL meet new friends and you'll be able to enjoy an easier life financially. Maybe some of your family could take it in turns to come to stay at weekends - if you're not getting in until late you'll be too tired to worry anyway!

I know what it's like to be apart - my H2b is a submariner and that means when he's away I don't even get to SPEAK to him for weeks at a time, I don't know where he is or anything, so at least you'll be able to speak to your husband.

Keep your chin up - you'll have a hunky soldier husband soon!!!

Heather · #10 (**permalink**) 05-07-2002, 01:49 PM

for you hun!

I know exactly what you're going through.............. I'm sure it will get easier, and just think of the long term future you've got together and not the short term seperation! I'm sure it would be the same if it was reversed and you were the one having to be away because of your work!

I sometimes wonder about why I chose Matt......... his job does make life a nightmare sometimes but I wouldn't change it as I love him totally as he is, especially when I get to see him in his uniform!

H